I feel as if shifting from being a god to a man is going to be an adjustment, but I can't say I'm not intrigued to see the process. For science.
...I don't know if that is quite true; however, even if it is, you will now hopefully have plenty of time to find things to cherish deeply. And then I can say you are foolish for rushing inside of a building to stop your lover from sacrificing themselves to save thousands of others.
[that was such a long ago conversation and scien remembers it through tipsy goggles but listen]
He'd be such a pain in the ass moping about it if he was responsible for that many people dying. [please be nice] I just wouldn't let him endure it alone.
The metaphor falls apart because I don't think your lover would, but would you stop him in the same scenario?
[The first part is a sentiment Viktor can understand actually. It's easy to get caught up in enduring things alone after always being alone, whether it was self-imposed or environmental.
But then realizing you don't have to endure things alone actually, both love and pain and even the end.]
...I would try at least. What he wanted to do is up to him, in the end, but I would try so that he would know how much he really means to me. That a world without him in it... isn't a world worth living in. I know that's pretty selfish.
But you aren't the first person that I've seen that would do something like that. It's that type of behavior that has me convinced that love makes you insane.
[he doesn't sound entirely judgmental. a bit, yes, but almost sort of like a diagnosis. side-effect of love: pure fucking insanity.]
I am already a bit mad. To adhere to logic above all else has always made me different from most people.
[scien is self-aware! this is why he didn't consider himself human for so long; he barely acts like one. that is its own type of insanity, even though he thinks he makes the most sense of everyone.
but as for this one...]
I expect my judgment to be swayed in some ways. [he frowns] I will hope that in the major ways, it isn't. Since there are so many lives in my hands...
But I think I've chosen someone who understands that. Who won't make me compromise my principles.
[otherwise would scien truly be capable of falling in love?]
[Scien really is fucking atrocious. Outside of uncontrolled murder, Eunhyuk has been very kind to Viktor, so while Eunhyuk doesn't interest HIM that way either, he has to take a moment to figure out why he is so fucking offended on Eunhyuk's behalf at the dismissal.
This is what having emotions is like!! The struggle of separating bolstering your friends from the simple fact someone else can say they're mid.]
Well, to me then. He has his own sort of charm. And apparently to some others, too, I guess. [...] I... didn't follow up to ask him if he was rejected actually...
We can't all have the confidence of Scien Brofiise. We didn't understand love any more than you did even though we could feel it. It took some time to reconcile. The other people aren't an object or a goal for us. We weren't simply going to "take" it as ours.
My lover is neither an object nor a goal to me, nor is he someone I took for myself.
[and maybe that's not what viktor meant, but scien can't let the implication just stand. he doesn't seem offended, because he isn't surprised that someone might think of him that way but.]
Your other points stand. [he is insanely confident and he didn't (doesn't?) understand love] But I have never wanted love or another person. [it's not a checkbox or a mission he has]
He simply wanted me, and, despite myself, I wanted him too—more than I wanted to be sensible. As long as that was true, I wasn't going to deny either of us what we both sought.
[scien's affection might be hard to understand—but it is as devoted as he is to anything else in his life]
[He had sort of been implying it to see if Scien would deny it or not. He's got to say, he's a little surprised to hear it even if he knows he shouldn't be. Glad to hear lovers aren't goals or objects to Scien.]
You shouldn't try to logic it out. That's how it works, I think. I'm not an expert, but... it just... falls together that way with no sense at all.
Did you end up solving the one puzzle I said you couldn't?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I rather think that I am done being a god... I can still do plenty as a man.
[but he tilts his head when he gets to viktor's main point]
I would not say so... I do not think there is anything I cherish so deeply.
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I feel as if shifting from being a god to a man is going to be an adjustment, but I can't say I'm not intrigued to see the process. For science.
...I don't know if that is quite true; however, even if it is, you will now hopefully have plenty of time to find things to cherish deeply. And then I can say you are foolish for rushing inside of a building to stop your lover from sacrificing themselves to save thousands of others.
[HE'S TEASING AGAIN.]
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[that was such a long ago conversation and scien remembers it through tipsy goggles but listen]
He'd be such a pain in the ass moping about it if he was responsible for that many people dying. [please be nice] I just wouldn't let him endure it alone.
The metaphor falls apart because I don't think your lover would, but would you stop him in the same scenario?
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But then realizing you don't have to endure things alone actually, both love and pain and even the end.]
...I would try at least. What he wanted to do is up to him, in the end, but I would try so that he would know how much he really means to me. That a world without him in it... isn't a world worth living in. I know that's pretty selfish.
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[confirming. but also,]
But you aren't the first person that I've seen that would do something like that. It's that type of behavior that has me convinced that love makes you insane.
[he doesn't sound entirely judgmental. a bit, yes, but almost sort of like a diagnosis. side-effect of love: pure fucking insanity.]
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Oh, I would definitely venture to say there is a correlation between insanity and love for sure. It really... does make you quite insane.
[Looks at Lucien.]
That doesn't deter you from your choice?
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[scien is self-aware! this is why he didn't consider himself human for so long; he barely acts like one. that is its own type of insanity, even though he thinks he makes the most sense of everyone.
but as for this one...]
I expect my judgment to be swayed in some ways. [he frowns] I will hope that in the major ways, it isn't. Since there are so many lives in my hands...
But I think I've chosen someone who understands that. Who won't make me compromise my principles.
[otherwise would scien truly be capable of falling in love?]
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[He tilts his head a bit, thoughtful. This is probably wrong; there's another choice, too, but:]
You wouldn't happen to be the person Eunhyuk came to me about, would you?
[He asks this in the tone of a guy who doesn't believe this, but is curious...?]
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In what context?
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He came to me the day before I was revived to ask me how I knew I was in love.
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And you are wondering if he is in love with me, and if he is the one I have chosen.
Is that correct.
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I don't really... keep up with other people's love life exactly. I could barely keep up with my own.
I didn't question him too much about it because I understand how private that can be. He just said he was in love is all.
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[scien is actually so observant about people he just uses this power for evil. or apparently for finding out who's dating against his will]
No.
My taste isn't that bland.
[EUNHYUK IS SO GOOD AND SCIEN JUST HAS NO INTEREST IN HIM HELP YOU THOUGHT YAYWON PERFORMED A MIRACLE]
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i did not believe it but i thought it would be really hilarious]
That's a little mean, Scien. Eunhyuk is not a bad young man. I've seen him laugh and smile.
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[he kicked viktor in the head]
There is nothing wrong with him. He simply doesn't catch my interest.
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Is this their Nezha and Rin arc...? Like without the feels.]
That's fine. His bland is not your brand, but it's a little endearing.
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but he just shrugs]
To you, I suppose.
[it's so funny when people don't interest scien bc he really hits true neutral with them]
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This is what having emotions is like!! The struggle of separating bolstering your friends from the simple fact someone else can say they're mid.]
Well, to me then. He has his own sort of charm. And apparently to some others, too, I guess. [...] I... didn't follow up to ask him if he was rejected actually...
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He wasn't.
[how does he know this when he just spent the entire convo calling eunhyuk mid]
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I told him. I don't know why he was so worried in hearing what I had to say about it.
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It sounds like you're both cowards.
[getting other people's input on love..... why....]
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Maybe to you.
[Not that it amounts to much.]
We can't all have the confidence of Scien Brofiise. We didn't understand love any more than you did even though we could feel it. It took some time to reconcile. The other people aren't an object or a goal for us. We weren't simply going to "take" it as ours.
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[and maybe that's not what viktor meant, but scien can't let the implication just stand. he doesn't seem offended, because he isn't surprised that someone might think of him that way but.]
Your other points stand. [he is insanely confident and he didn't (doesn't?) understand love] But I have never wanted love or another person. [it's not a checkbox or a mission he has]
He simply wanted me, and, despite myself, I wanted him too—more than I wanted to be sensible. As long as that was true, I wasn't going to deny either of us what we both sought.
[scien's affection might be hard to understand—but it is as devoted as he is to anything else in his life]
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You shouldn't try to logic it out. That's how it works, I think. I'm not an expert, but... it just... falls together that way with no sense at all.
Did you end up solving the one puzzle I said you couldn't?
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Don't call it a puzzle if logic can't be applied to it.
It is a feeling, and those also aren't things of logic or reason.
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