[ yeah you stupid twink of course you recognize these
he takes a moment, then pulls himself up onto his feet. some rust blooms across his chest again, like he's still bleeding, which he ignores for now. they can go... somewhere. ]
What about Owner and Guy? They were there too. [ at least Margaret is okay. he looks. troubled regardless. ] ...You want to hear about it?
[ he wouldn't blame Viktor specifically if he didn't. it'd be okay. ]
I didn't see them when you all came back, [obviously] but they are alright now, I think...? Nero, Sora, and Scien came out of another after you two...
[He sort of tries to help Sidon up, but he can only do so much as a twink and a person dodging the rust. HE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO IT EVEN IF SIDON ISN'T.]
[ stop he's rightfully concerned!!!! he does settle, at least. ]
That's... good? [ almost drowning is not drowning. ] That's good! If only everyone's adventures could be so uneventful.
[ which sounds dangerously close to complaining, even by accident. he goes quiet after, awkward for once. ]
Ah, where to start... [ he's good at listening. and chatting? he could just give viktor a report, but whining about how bad his day was is not really a thing he does. ] We were somewhere cold, looking for treasure. It was the wreckage of an ancient, advanced civilization... you'd have really liked it, if it weren't so—um. Horrifying.
[ they can go down to the caverns then. there's enough light to see, but it's also dim enough that all his fun bonus eyes are visible in their glowing. he remembers a name for each of them, spoken very distantly. ]
I had wondered what the names meant. But Margaret had the journal the longest. I think it poisoned her mind first, but maybe it'd broken all of us from the beginning.
[He will take Sidon to the caverns, even if the Eyes and the names make the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Even hearing them spoken makes him feel heavy and nauseous.
There is a frown in his quiet, accent speckled voice.]
It's a dangerous artifact, yes. It takes a strong mind to have the fortitude to withstand them, I think, and even then... a mind can only take so much of nine ancient, powerful mages.
[ he doesn't seem to like recalling them much either, fingers trailing against the walls of the caverns as the descend, waking up the luminous stone into a brighter glow. ]
It's very dangerous. You know he had it still, don't you? [ he stops, sighing—fingers pressed into the crest of his head, like someone might rub their temples. ] It didn't... rend our souls. Maybe it didn't have enough time? But it wanted us to rebuild something called the Threshold Crest, and moved our minds along.
We saw the ruin of their civilization—so many people there died in abject terror... [ it was just. really fucking sad!!! ] And we built a dream out of something truly awful.
[If there is one thing Lucien is above all else, he is a man who cannot let go of things. Then again, he is sure the journal could not let go of Lucien either, and maybe both together is the fate of it.
He has his hands out to make sure he doesn't end up face first in a pool, but he keeps looking at Sidon through the dark with this incredibly concerned but immensely sad expression of understanding.]
Lucien said it was terrible, the way the gods had played with things out of jealousy and anger. What kind of dream did you build?
[ he turns to give him a slightly complicated look back. ]
It's not something he should keep.
[ a gentle warning. he cannot emphasize how badly this book fucked up their lives. he thinks it should be thrown out the airlock into space never to be found again. he'll offer viktor a hand down some of the rocky inclines, because this cyoa made me establish that he has a little dark vision. there's a cold pool nearby. ]
It was made from our memories, the people we loved, or lost. I don't... I don't know how to explain it. It was like playing at god, bringing forth life at the cost of too much else. An experiment, I think. [ these mages are psychos. ] It was a terrible monster in the shape of all of you, and then it laid down and died. We killed it. I am not sure how sane we were after that.
[He takes the hand, very careful at first because of the damn rust, the momentary bloom of pain and numbness, a second reminder of how easily good dreams crumble to ash, and he descends with Sidon so Sidon can pool.
He cannot swim, even with brief practice, so he sits at the edge in a sorrowful daze hearing Sidon give him words that soak his heart like a memory.]
It isn't just the journal, [he murmurs.] It's the Eyes now, too. They're always there, always watching. [He's looking at his purple hand in the dark. Curling it into a fist.] He said he had a plan and the tools.
But I knew already it wasn't going to end the way he thought it would. He won't listen to me, though. He won't listen to anyone because he's stubborn.
[ he doesn't completely submerge, but the water is soothing after feeling like he's gone days without. he crosses his arms and rests them against the edge of the pool, resting his head against them as he looks to viktor. ]
You're stubborn too.
[ said with a little smile. because he is. ]
...If anyone could convince him, it's you. I'd sooner just throw the book into space. [ he looks at one of the eyes on the back of his hand, then out at nothing in particular. it has the vibes of a cat staring out at something in an unseen corner. ] I don't think everything was his memory exactly. It felt like... some of what came before him? I hope it doesn't come to pass.
[He has the decency to look sheepish when Sidon calls him out. Yeah, okay, fair.
He watches Sidon stare into the middle distance, knowing he has had the same look plenty of times in his life. He reaches out to put his hand over Sidon's, covering up the eye on the back so they can pretend it doesn't exist for at least several minutes.]
Maybe I can get him to put it in the trash, and then I'll throw it into the recycling room. But I doubt he'll listen...
[Would he? About the Hex Core? Making Jayce promise it should be destroyed, but then wondering if it would be useful here.]
[ that's right, you ridiculous stubborn little idiot mudfur man. he startles very briefly out of his listless staring, unusually tense, but decides it's nice not to have to look at one of these eyes, at least. ]
It's worth an effort. [ ... ] It was more the memories of a team of treasure hunters. Discovering the fate of Aeor and killing that dream creature were the first two days. By the third, the journal had gripped our minds—I became obsessed with... bringing about a world of my imagining. A better world. I was deluded into thinking those mages in their Astral Sea could do so, if only I brought them what they needed.
[ there is a little splash of water when his fins flick, like a limb kicked out during a nightmare. ]
It isn't worth the cost, Viktor. Of course it isn't! We'd seen how the lot of them sacrificed so... so many of their own people! How could I forget that? I lost myself entirely—I slayed Guy. Owner killed Margaret, and I killed him. [ sometimes you kill a monster made of all your friends and then all go batshit insane and think you can bring everyone back as long as you're the last man standing. he's worked himself up, but then he just deflates, tail slapping miserably at the water once. ] I never want to do that again.
[ gotham sucked but it wasn't half as traumatizing ]
[Gently, he offers Sidon's hand a squeeze of understanding and reassurance. He does not think Sidon shouldn't be, but he hates seeing Sidon's usual chipper optimism torn down by shitty happenstance he and Lucien both suffer from.]
...It isn't my story to tell you, I'm sorry. I hope you get the chance to ask him and hear it. Like me, he has done things... in hindsight... that were not good, things you wouldn't approve of at all.
[His hand reaches up. He wants to brush the crest of Sidon's head, but also doesn't want to annoy Sidon with the stupid, painful rust, so he hesitates and curls his fingers away.]
I believe him, though. He wanted the world to be a better place. But the journal... the mages... like the Hex Core, it... it warps you when you're desperate.
[ idiot, he immediately tilts his head forward, like a cat chasing after a petting hand with its face. he'll deal with his stupid rusty paws. sorry about the pain. ]
...I do sympathize.
[ compassion comes easily for him, empathy even moreso, especially since he's felt the same twist of the mind—the terrible things he did on this expedition will stay with him. there's a brief scoff, though. ]
Though I think he's always had a bit of a... [ nasty streak? an irritating face? he reminds himself to be nice. ] Well, nevermind. I think he's always been a bit troubled. But I will keep an open mind, if ever we get to speak again. Don't we all wish the world were more fair?
if anything, viktor is the one who should probably be careful of any rust on his head. but for now, it seems to recede, concentrating around his eyes and down his body; he leans into the touch, comforted, considering. what he ends up on is: ]
Of a mean streak.
[ he's not petty, that's enough to get the point across. ]
I deserved it, but I hope you'll make sure he behaves. [ he pauses, speaking more gingerly. ] I know it is the result of unkind circumstances.
[ not to excuse anything any of them have done, because he isn't. but he knows some of them have had much harder lives than he has. ]
He will be careful of the rusty head... Please stop getting hurt, you stupid shark, as if he doesn't continue to get hurt and also have 1 constitution point.
For what it's worth, he doesn't seem to be bothered by the call out for Lucien.] Don't say that. You don't deserve it. [He knows Sidon is too Good, and that, ultimately, is why Lucien is so ruffled.]
I understand. He is quite rude and awful. He was mean to me for a while at first in earnest.
[So he doesn't begrudge Sidon the dislike.]
Life hasn't been kind to him at all, but... I think it's also because he is... missing a piece of himself. The one... stuck inside him? I think that's him, too. A piece of him that got left behind in his body when his soul...
I just don't know if... it can be fixed, and if it does, what will happen.
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He squats down beside Sidon, reaching out to smooth a hand over the fins gently.]
It's okay. A little payback, hm? Welcome back...
[He knows dying is rough, but he is glad Sidon is okay. Physically at least.]
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he laughs softly. the fin on his arm bristles and stretches in reaction, apparently not minding the touch. ]
Yes, consider it my revenge. [ no, it's bad... ] I preferred the other rifts, if I'm honest.
[ take them back to the beach...... ]
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His expression softens.]
They were better, weren't they? Do you want to talk about it...? Let's get you out of the scrap. Margaret is okay, too.
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he takes a moment, then pulls himself up onto his feet. some rust blooms across his chest again, like he's still bleeding, which he ignores for now. they can go... somewhere. ]
What about Owner and Guy? They were there too. [ at least Margaret is okay. he looks. troubled regardless. ] ...You want to hear about it?
[ he wouldn't blame Viktor specifically if he didn't. it'd be okay. ]
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[He sort of tries to help Sidon up, but he can only do so much as a twink and a person dodging the rust. HE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO IT EVEN IF SIDON ISN'T.]
I don't mind... I'll listen.
[Sidon listened to him after all.]
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he's distracted a second. ]
Oh, are they all right!?
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Actually... they... weren't even really injured? It was strange. Scien almost drowned inside of a ball of water, but... They're alright.
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That's... good? [ almost drowning is not drowning. ] That's good! If only everyone's adventures could be so uneventful.
[ which sounds dangerously close to complaining, even by accident. he goes quiet after, awkward for once. ]
Ah, where to start... [ he's good at listening. and chatting? he could just give viktor a report, but whining about how bad his day was is not really a thing he does. ] We were somewhere cold, looking for treasure. It was the wreckage of an ancient, advanced civilization... you'd have really liked it, if it weren't so—um. Horrifying.
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The other part actually... does not surprise him for reasons. The Eyes were enough. His smile is tight.]
...Aeor?
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That's right.
[ he's not even surprised that viktor knows. ]
You can probably guess at a bit of what happened to us...?
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A... journal spoke to you? Nine mages got inside you when you accepted the call of it? Your soul got sundered and scattered to the far reaches?
[It's funny if he says this and none of it happened.]
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Fastidian, Ira, Vigilant. Luctus, Elatis, Culpasi. Timorei, Mirumus, Gaudius.
[ a long pause, before he sighs. ]
I had wondered what the names meant. But Margaret had the journal the longest. I think it poisoned her mind first, but maybe it'd broken all of us from the beginning.
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There is a frown in his quiet, accent speckled voice.]
It's a dangerous artifact, yes. It takes a strong mind to have the fortitude to withstand them, I think, and even then... a mind can only take so much of nine ancient, powerful mages.
...Did they ask you to do anything for them?
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It's very dangerous. You know he had it still, don't you? [ he stops, sighing—fingers pressed into the crest of his head, like someone might rub their temples. ] It didn't... rend our souls. Maybe it didn't have enough time? But it wanted us to rebuild something called the Threshold Crest, and moved our minds along.
We saw the ruin of their civilization—so many people there died in abject terror... [ it was just. really fucking sad!!! ] And we built a dream out of something truly awful.
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[If there is one thing Lucien is above all else, he is a man who cannot let go of things. Then again, he is sure the journal could not let go of Lucien either, and maybe both together is the fate of it.
He has his hands out to make sure he doesn't end up face first in a pool, but he keeps looking at Sidon through the dark with this incredibly concerned but immensely sad expression of understanding.]
Lucien said it was terrible, the way the gods had played with things out of jealousy and anger. What kind of dream did you build?
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It's not something he should keep.
[ a gentle warning. he cannot emphasize how badly this book fucked up their lives. he thinks it should be thrown out the airlock into space never to be found again. he'll offer viktor a hand down some of the rocky inclines, because this cyoa made me establish that he has a little dark vision. there's a cold pool nearby. ]
It was made from our memories, the people we loved, or lost. I don't... I don't know how to explain it. It was like playing at god, bringing forth life at the cost of too much else. An experiment, I think. [ these mages are psychos. ] It was a terrible monster in the shape of all of you, and then it laid down and died. We killed it. I am not sure how sane we were after that.
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[He takes the hand, very careful at first because of the damn rust, the momentary bloom of pain and numbness, a second reminder of how easily good dreams crumble to ash, and he descends with Sidon so Sidon can pool.
He cannot swim, even with brief practice, so he sits at the edge in a sorrowful daze hearing Sidon give him words that soak his heart like a memory.]
It isn't just the journal, [he murmurs.] It's the Eyes now, too. They're always there, always watching. [He's looking at his purple hand in the dark. Curling it into a fist.] He said he had a plan and the tools.
But I knew already it wasn't going to end the way he thought it would. He won't listen to me, though. He won't listen to anyone because he's stubborn.
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You're stubborn too.
[ said with a little smile. because he is. ]
...If anyone could convince him, it's you. I'd sooner just throw the book into space. [ he looks at one of the eyes on the back of his hand, then out at nothing in particular. it has the vibes of a cat staring out at something in an unseen corner. ] I don't think everything was his memory exactly. It felt like... some of what came before him? I hope it doesn't come to pass.
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He watches Sidon stare into the middle distance, knowing he has had the same look plenty of times in his life. He reaches out to put his hand over Sidon's, covering up the eye on the back so they can pretend it doesn't exist for at least several minutes.]
Maybe I can get him to put it in the trash, and then I'll throw it into the recycling room. But I doubt he'll listen...
[Would he? About the Hex Core? Making Jayce promise it should be destroyed, but then wondering if it would be useful here.]
What kinds of memories were they?
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It's worth an effort. [ ... ] It was more the memories of a team of treasure hunters. Discovering the fate of Aeor and killing that dream creature were the first two days. By the third, the journal had gripped our minds—I became obsessed with... bringing about a world of my imagining. A better world. I was deluded into thinking those mages in their Astral Sea could do so, if only I brought them what they needed.
[ there is a little splash of water when his fins flick, like a limb kicked out during a nightmare. ]
It isn't worth the cost, Viktor. Of course it isn't! We'd seen how the lot of them sacrificed so... so many of their own people! How could I forget that? I lost myself entirely—I slayed Guy. Owner killed Margaret, and I killed him. [ sometimes you kill a monster made of all your friends and then all go batshit insane and think you can bring everyone back as long as you're the last man standing. he's worked himself up, but then he just deflates, tail slapping miserably at the water once. ] I never want to do that again.
[ gotham sucked but it wasn't half as traumatizing ]
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...It isn't my story to tell you, I'm sorry. I hope you get the chance to ask him and hear it. Like me, he has done things... in hindsight... that were not good, things you wouldn't approve of at all.
[His hand reaches up. He wants to brush the crest of Sidon's head, but also doesn't want to annoy Sidon with the stupid, painful rust, so he hesitates and curls his fingers away.]
I believe him, though. He wanted the world to be a better place. But the journal... the mages... like the Hex Core, it... it warps you when you're desperate.
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...I do sympathize.
[ compassion comes easily for him, empathy even moreso, especially since he's felt the same twist of the mind—the terrible things he did on this expedition will stay with him. there's a brief scoff, though. ]
Though I think he's always had a bit of a... [ nasty streak? an irritating face? he reminds himself to be nice. ] Well, nevermind. I think he's always been a bit troubled. But I will keep an open mind, if ever we get to speak again. Don't we all wish the world were more fair?
[ that much, they all have in common. ]
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Sidon should say it, honestly. It's valid!! Lucien has an awful personality and Viktor can do better. Clearly.
Giving in, he pets Sidon gently, murmuring an apology for the rusty paws. It's at least the stupid numb one, not the thousand suns one.]
You think he always had a bit of...?
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if anything, viktor is the one who should probably be careful of any rust on his head. but for now, it seems to recede, concentrating around his eyes and down his body; he leans into the touch, comforted, considering. what he ends up on is: ]
Of a mean streak.
[ he's not petty, that's enough to get the point across. ]
I deserved it, but I hope you'll make sure he behaves. [ he pauses, speaking more gingerly. ] I know it is the result of unkind circumstances.
[ not to excuse anything any of them have done, because he isn't. but he knows some of them have had much harder lives than he has. ]
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He will be careful of the rusty head... Please stop getting hurt, you stupid shark, as if he doesn't continue to get hurt and also have 1 constitution point.
For what it's worth, he doesn't seem to be bothered by the call out for Lucien.] Don't say that. You don't deserve it. [He knows Sidon is too Good, and that, ultimately, is why Lucien is so ruffled.]
I understand. He is quite rude and awful. He was mean to me for a while at first in earnest.
[So he doesn't begrudge Sidon the dislike.]
Life hasn't been kind to him at all, but... I think it's also because he is... missing a piece of himself. The one... stuck inside him? I think that's him, too. A piece of him that got left behind in his body when his soul...
I just don't know if... it can be fixed, and if it does, what will happen.
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