[NOT THEM BREAKING TO BE NERDS THEN COMING BACK TO TRY FOR ANOTHER HIGH SCORE.
The momentary victory actually doesn't make him gloat because there's still a highest score there looming from above. He plays a few games, bumping back and forth below and above Scien's lowest scores still.
[Well, he is in the lab, but he is........on the floor. He is on the floor between the cobbled together mechanical legs and pelvis which are big enough that the rest of it might make it more than nine feet in height.
He tips his head back and blinks upside down at Scien, pausing.]
Dahut is getting tired of Suika. We're playing Tetris now.
[scien will still play both because he fucking loves puzzles but he will acknowledge that it's regardless more fun when there's a variety of scores for him to feel challenged by.
but he's just going to straight up ask, because he's not blind:]
Are you overcompensating when building yourself a new body?
[i wish scien cared more about viktor's life, but he doesn't. if this fucking funky robot goes on a rampage he has decided that's sidon's problem and not his.
his own answer comes with certainty, as though he is still a god:]
They shouldn't.
However, just as man plans and god laughs, self-made gods too are fallible. [he's an example of this, and he won't hide from it] There is no true deity in the world. Only human wisdom, and all its downsides.
[Viktor cares so much about his life he has looped back around to not caring, so it's actually fine. This place hasn't helped the acceptance of inevitability.
He tips his head back ever so slightly again to look at Scien.]
Exactly. [He lifts a tool.] If God didn't want me to infringe on His ability to create, He shouldn't have given me a mind that only hungered to make things.
Trying to stop learning is like... trying to stop a tic, trying to hold your breath. After a while, it builds up and explodes.
[ . . . . it's not that scien finds the sentiment entirely foreign. every time he finishes a project, he simply looks for another one. but there is a limit, he thinks.
also, more baffling to him:]
Do you actually believe in god?
[those are a lot of uppercase words coming from a man of science]
[He is hesitant in his... indecision of how to answer. He fiddles with a few things on the legs, brows extremely furrowed.]
No. [This is firm, except he adds:] ...But.
[And then he's quiet again, unsure. Frustrated.]
...Have you ever seen [a pause] something god-like? Not... a person. Not... a being. Something... An energy. A place. I don't know how to describe it. I've... seen it. Something unimaginable. That's... what the Hex Core was like. I could... see it. Like this place, this void... full of... dark, thick webs going in every direction, this light in the distance. It felt like what a god would be like if it existed.
[to his credit, scien listens. but it is a funny question to ask someone who has been heralded as a god for decades. when he is what was always regarded as godlike.]
... People would call my technology the work of miracles.
So no, I can't say that I have. I also can't say that I'm particularly interested, when the so-called divine has little merit to me.
And so you intend to study this Hex Core, that learns and grows, to dissect your deity?
[He goes quiet again to figure out how to answer.]
I wanted to study it. I thought the pursuit was worth it... not just for me, but for everyone; however, I learned very quickly how dangerous it really was. I made my partner, Jayce, promise to destroy it.
I couldn't do it... I wanted to continue studying it. It holds the keys to so many things. Life, death. But... it is dangerous.
[if he won't pursue something that he considers godlike... but scien will just go to park it somewhere, probably propping his legs up on something that shouldn't be used as a foot stool]
Then why come to me seeking to defeat death? Why not seek a normal person's lifespan, rather than suggest immortality is your goal?
[HE'S JUST SAYING. He hasn't let them hold him back, but they were there regardless, so he is Aware.
The frustrated energy rising up in him has nowhere to go, so he starts quietly working on the legs again.]
I don't... particularly want immortality. I never have wanted immortality. I just want to live longer than a year. Than two. I want... a normal life. I always assumed the lifespan would be normal.
I just... didn't know, once I got to the end of it, if I would be satisfied with what I've accomplished.
...You shouldn't have kicked me in the head in the first place. We're not children on a playground.
[This is said with a surprising lack of venom. JUST FATIGUE.]
It isn't my fault you got defensive just hearing I was interested in research involving extending life. I don't care whatever secrets you're hiding. I was only looking for verbal collaboration. Sure, it may have been a bad time, but I didn't know we'd end up here.
You know, Shoma tried to excuse your behavior by blaming it on what was happening, but even so, I knew those words were not foreign to you.
[he'll admit it. scien is capable of being the cruel god so many people have accused him of.]
You stole my tech after I made it clear that it was supposed to be burned, precisely because I know how tempting it can be to the average person to never face the end of their lives.
When I asked yourself if you would revive yourself every time you got close to death, you said yes. Extending life to a normal lifespan is different from immortality.
If you didn't want me to misunderstand, don't get caught up in your own dramatics.
And if I only gained a lifespan of three more years? Two? After that, maybe two more? Would the answer not be yes? Yes, again. Yes, again and again until I finally have the common decency of an average lifespan!
Yes, until I'm so old my skin is paper thin, easily torn. Until I'm cold every second of the day. Until I'm bald rather than grey. Until my eyes can barely see because they've seen all they can. I don't want to be petrified in time, I want to grow old.
Otherwise, I would just take myself apart and put machinery in. I would just replace everything with parts which never erode. That was the option I had left after the Core. To become a machine.
I don't know about the other. It's why I was going to give you both my blood even though Lucien didn't want me to do it. The doctors... said it was the water in the Undercity. It probably was. It's all polluted. The whole city is polluted, worse the deeper you go.
It's why I build the things I do. Things that can keep others in Zaun from becoming me.
Edited (wait i forgot my first half) 2024-03-20 03:40 (UTC)
People are so nervous about the blood—but I don't perform medical procedures on normal people without their consent. Sometimes I don't even do it when they ask.
[SCIEN IS NOT A DOCTOR!!!! HE IS A RESEARCHER!!!! HE'S ALSO A HUGE ASSHOLE WHO HATES EXTRA WORK THAT HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN]
Reliver technology cannot rewrite your genetic code. I may not be able to do anything about your leg.
[as for the rest....]
I will think on it. I have not yet decided just how much I am willing to grant you all. [so many people have short lifespans here, but scien doesn't know how much he wants to play god with people outside of the country....] But know this: I will not verbally explain any of my technology to you. It is never meant to leave Arpéchéle or my control.
Either you accept salvation at my hand, or you find answers on your own.
He freezes, bewildered........ and then he scrambles to twist around so he can raise himself up on his forearms and LOOK at Scien, equally as bewildered as he had been to start.
He's not sure what to say, or think. He had spent... so many days since that Saturday night boiling, angry, spiteful. He's still not sure if this applies after hearing such a thing. It feels... pathetic. Scien's words still fester inside him.]
[scien shrugs, as if offering to save a man's life is just this super casual thing. to him, it might be. that's probably why his personality is so fucking bad.]
Don't misunderstand me or let your hopes soar too high. Logistics would be difficult, possibly even coming out to conditions you wouldn't want to agree to. Not because the terms will be cruel, but even I haven't thought to unravel inter-dimensional travel. I don't know how I'd be able to send you home.
But I am a person who seeks to preserve life. If all other conditions are met—basic payment, paperwork, so on—I do not limit who has access to my technology as long as they are not abusing it.
[Idiot, don't shrug while offering something so fucking wildly incomprehensible to most people like it's NOTHING. Please remember HUMANITY. This really shows a bit on Viktor's face, the bewildered annoyance of having some dude wield so much control over his sad existence.
At the mention of payment, he glances down, and the long-seated burden of being marginalized leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Now is fine. He's become comfortably wealthy off Hextech, but before? He hasn't forgotten, how impossible it would have been to afford such a thing.
The idea of paying to fucking live.
He glances back up again.] What exactly... is... this process like? I mean... what happens exactly when a person agrees to go through with it? [Not the details, not how. What should he expect?]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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The momentary victory actually doesn't make him gloat because there's still a highest score there looming from above. He plays a few games, bumping back and forth below and above Scien's lowest scores still.
But... climbing?]
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until he goes to find viktor in his lab and just says:]
Download Tetris.
[help]
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He tips his head back and blinks upside down at Scien, pausing.]
Tetris?
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[scien will still play both because he fucking loves puzzles but he will acknowledge that it's regardless more fun when there's a variety of scores for him to feel challenged by.
but he's just going to straight up ask, because he's not blind:]
Are you overcompensating when building yourself a new body?
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He puts his tools on his chest so he can fiddle with the IRIS. Downloading Tetris...]
I never had plans to wear it. I had been scribbling the blueprints back home. It's an automaton.
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[the way scien heard about the hex core bit and was like 'whoa sounds stupid' and then didn't acknowledge it until.... now....]
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I suppose I'll die then. Wouldn't be the first time or the last.
[With no smarminess, just general rhetoric:]
Do gods really make anything without knowing how to destroy it?
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his own answer comes with certainty, as though he is still a god:]
They shouldn't.
However, just as man plans and god laughs, self-made gods too are fallible. [he's an example of this, and he won't hide from it] There is no true deity in the world. Only human wisdom, and all its downsides.
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He tips his head back ever so slightly again to look at Scien.]
Exactly. [He lifts a tool.] If God didn't want me to infringe on His ability to create, He shouldn't have given me a mind that only hungered to make things.
Trying to stop learning is like... trying to stop a tic, trying to hold your breath. After a while, it builds up and explodes.
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also, more baffling to him:]
Do you actually believe in god?
[those are a lot of uppercase words coming from a man of science]
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No. [This is firm, except he adds:] ...But.
[And then he's quiet again, unsure. Frustrated.]
...Have you ever seen [a pause] something god-like? Not... a person. Not... a being. Something... An energy. A place. I don't know how to describe it. I've... seen it. Something unimaginable. That's... what the Hex Core was like. I could... see it. Like this place, this void... full of... dark, thick webs going in every direction, this light in the distance. It felt like what a god would be like if it existed.
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... People would call my technology the work of miracles.
So no, I can't say that I have. I also can't say that I'm particularly interested, when the so-called divine has little merit to me.
And so you intend to study this Hex Core, that learns and grows, to dissect your deity?
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I wanted to study it. I thought the pursuit was worth it... not just for me, but for everyone; however, I learned very quickly how dangerous it really was. I made my partner, Jayce, promise to destroy it.
I couldn't do it... I wanted to continue studying it. It holds the keys to so many things. Life, death. But... it is dangerous.
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[if he won't pursue something that he considers godlike... but scien will just go to park it somewhere, probably propping his legs up on something that shouldn't be used as a foot stool]
Then why come to me seeking to defeat death? Why not seek a normal person's lifespan, rather than suggest immortality is your goal?
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[HE'S JUST SAYING. He hasn't let them hold him back, but they were there regardless, so he is Aware.
The frustrated energy rising up in him has nowhere to go, so he starts quietly working on the legs again.]
I don't... particularly want immortality. I never have wanted immortality. I just want to live longer than a year. Than two. I want... a normal life. I always assumed the lifespan would be normal.
I just... didn't know, once I got to the end of it, if I would be satisfied with what I've accomplished.
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If you had said so clearly, I wouldn't have kicked you in the head.
[would he still have stepped on him? yes. but listen.]
Or were you trying to make the worst possible impression after asking me how to defeat death?
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[This is said with a surprising lack of venom. JUST FATIGUE.]
It isn't my fault you got defensive just hearing I was interested in research involving extending life. I don't care whatever secrets you're hiding. I was only looking for verbal collaboration. Sure, it may have been a bad time, but I didn't know we'd end up here.
You know, Shoma tried to excuse your behavior by blaming it on what was happening, but even so, I knew those words were not foreign to you.
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[he'll admit it. scien is capable of being the cruel god so many people have accused him of.]
You stole my tech after I made it clear that it was supposed to be burned, precisely because I know how tempting it can be to the average person to never face the end of their lives.
When I asked yourself if you would revive yourself every time you got close to death, you said yes. Extending life to a normal lifespan is different from immortality.
If you didn't want me to misunderstand, don't get caught up in your own dramatics.
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And if I only gained a lifespan of three more years? Two? After that, maybe two more? Would the answer not be yes? Yes, again. Yes, again and again until I finally have the common decency of an average lifespan!
Yes, until I'm so old my skin is paper thin, easily torn. Until I'm cold every second of the day. Until I'm bald rather than grey. Until my eyes can barely see because they've seen all they can. I don't want to be petrified in time, I want to grow old.
Otherwise, I would just take myself apart and put machinery in. I would just replace everything with parts which never erode. That was the option I had left after the Core. To become a machine.
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Were you born ill?
Is it something in your genetics?
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[He shakes his head.]
I don't know about the other. It's why I was going to give you both my blood even though Lucien didn't want me to do it. The doctors... said it was the water in the Undercity. It probably was. It's all polluted. The whole city is polluted, worse the deeper you go.
It's why I build the things I do. Things that can keep others in Zaun from becoming me.
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People are so nervous about the blood—but I don't perform medical procedures on normal people without their consent. Sometimes I don't even do it when they ask.
[SCIEN IS NOT A DOCTOR!!!! HE IS A RESEARCHER!!!! HE'S ALSO A HUGE ASSHOLE WHO HATES EXTRA WORK THAT HE'S NOT INTERESTED IN]
Reliver technology cannot rewrite your genetic code. I may not be able to do anything about your leg.
[as for the rest....]
I will think on it. I have not yet decided just how much I am willing to grant you all. [so many people have short lifespans here, but scien doesn't know how much he wants to play god with people outside of the country....] But know this: I will not verbally explain any of my technology to you. It is never meant to leave Arpéchéle or my control.
Either you accept salvation at my hand, or you find answers on your own.
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He freezes, bewildered........ and then he scrambles to twist around so he can raise himself up on his forearms and LOOK at Scien, equally as bewildered as he had been to start.
He's not sure what to say, or think. He had spent... so many days since that Saturday night boiling, angry, spiteful. He's still not sure if this applies after hearing such a thing. It feels... pathetic. Scien's words still fester inside him.]
Wh... What?
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Don't misunderstand me or let your hopes soar too high. Logistics would be difficult, possibly even coming out to conditions you wouldn't want to agree to. Not because the terms will be cruel, but even I haven't thought to unravel inter-dimensional travel. I don't know how I'd be able to send you home.
But I am a person who seeks to preserve life. If all other conditions are met—basic payment, paperwork, so on—I do not limit who has access to my technology as long as they are not abusing it.
[and that is what makes him a savior.]
That's all.
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At the mention of payment, he glances down, and the long-seated burden of being marginalized leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Now is fine. He's become comfortably wealthy off Hextech, but before? He hasn't forgotten, how impossible it would have been to afford such a thing.
The idea of paying to fucking live.
He glances back up again.] What exactly... is... this process like? I mean... what happens exactly when a person agrees to go through with it? [Not the details, not how. What should he expect?]
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