horizontal again i'm sorry this man is really splayed out on the ground looking at the ceiling. his emotions are still in that tight little box bundle, but the strongest one that leaks through is this sense of being lost.]
[Yes, that's what he thought. He turns his whole head away, hesitating, like he's contemplating. He's quiet for a long time, drawing the nerve.
Finally, he looks back.]
Because I'm dying. Because... I... hurt someone while trying to find a way to live. Someone who didn't deserve it. If there was a less dangerous way, I want to know how.
[he sits up, watching him. appraising, and judgmental.]
And what will you do?
Revive yourself every time that you are on the brink of death, granting yourself immortality? Run from death all your days because you feel as though you will never have time enough?
[His expression grows pensive, but there isn't any other way to answer.]
Yes.
[Plenty of people would say that, wouldn't they? He thinks about the one hundred something year old former mentor who had the gall to tell him death is just a thing that happens! Even getting the short end of the life stick!]
There is... so much left for me to create, to build. There are so many people left I could help, like the ones suffering in Zaun. What I've made already... I can't leave it in the hands of people who will turn it into weapons.
I'm trapped. My mind is trapped inside of a body that I can't stop from wasting away.
You cannot even help yourself, and you think to be a savior?
Do you hear yourself? You'll steal my technology and use it for your own selfish ends, but then say that your own work can't be made into weapons? What hypocrisy.
No. I'm not stealing it. I'm--that isn't the kind of scientist I am. If that were true, I would have looked at the heart immediately and never bothered coming here. I want to see how it works.
I was already working on something. It just... It became extremely dangerous because it could learn. It evolves. I'm trying to perfect it, to study it. It could be one of Runeterra's greatest benefactors. A revolution for medical treatment. But I can't do that... if I'm dead.
[The hurt frustration surprisingly doesn't deepen, but it does balloon up into something else as his grip on the crutch tightens--determination.]
I don't need you. I have never need anyone in my life. Not even when I already risked it to find a way to cure myself. It was about learning new things from other brillaint minds, sharing research so I could go back and create something better.
I am the brain behind Hextech, but I would be a fool to say I was the sole person who created it because I had a partner.
Yes, I am going to look at the heart. Just as you would look at the Hex Core if our positions were reversed. To find a way to live longer than just twenty three without having to do it over and over. To find a way to allow others to still feel as many emotions as they can without having to shut down like an over-clocked engine.
Neither of what we've created is perfect on its own, no matter how arrogantly you think it's acceptable. Science cannot grow without the ingenuity of shared concepts with the people willing to try whatever is necessary to succeed.
I've already found my answers to both of those questions, idiot. [this is where the jpn voice would go 'baaaaaaaka'] I was in the middle of breaking the island's curse before I got here, and I devised in a few minutes how to make a better Memory Bank once I cared to.
Your HexTech sounds like child's play to me. [scien i will fucking kill you myself]
You said 'shared concepts' and conferring with other brilliant minds? You're nothing to me. You're not even a speck compared to Dahut.
[The determination has plateaued, level with a residual numbness. He does not sound or feel angry. There can be no scientist without believing in your own creations. He smiles, in fact, a very mild, hollow one.]
I don't care why you did it. You can live with your mistakes as I have to live with mine.
[His hand slides down; he lift the crutch up off the ground by the middle, and he turns to walk away with only the barest hints of any limp. He stops to turn his head without looking all the way back.]
I may not have had long to live, but I can at least experience it while I'm here without self-destructing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w0, sat
Anyhow, after a while, Viktor trudges in like a tired fucking old man. Scien reset, BUT LIKE... MAKING SURE SCIEN IS STILL RESET.]
no subject
well scien is
horizontal again i'm sorry this man is really splayed out on the ground looking at the ceiling. his emotions are still in that tight little box bundle, but the strongest one that leaks through is this sense of being lost.]
no subject
After a few moments, he gets closer without being so close he'll dump a load of feels on top of Scien. Sorry, he's paranoid as shit.]
Scien. It's Viktor.
no subject
waves a hand in greeting]
Start your questioning, Viktor.
[he's realistic he knows what everyone is here for]
no subject
[He pauses for a long moment or two. The questioning may not be the one Scien is expecting exactly.]
I want to know how you beat death.
no subject
[hELP]
no subject
[He will just be honest and blunt.]
I'd rather the information come directly from you instead. I'm not looking for a blueprint. I want to know how.
no subject
there's the anger again]
Asshole.
[HELPPPPPPP]
Why?
no subject
Finally, he looks back.]
Because I'm dying. Because... I... hurt someone while trying to find a way to live. Someone who didn't deserve it. If there was a less dangerous way, I want to know how.
no subject
And what will you do?
Revive yourself every time that you are on the brink of death, granting yourself immortality? Run from death all your days because you feel as though you will never have time enough?
no subject
Yes.
[Plenty of people would say that, wouldn't they? He thinks about the one hundred something year old former mentor who had the gall to tell him death is just a thing that happens! Even getting the short end of the life stick!]
There is... so much left for me to create, to build. There are so many people left I could help, like the ones suffering in Zaun. What I've made already... I can't leave it in the hands of people who will turn it into weapons.
I'm trapped. My mind is trapped inside of a body that I can't stop from wasting away.
no subject
scien laughs—and it is pointed and cruel.]
You cannot even help yourself, and you think to be a savior?
Do you hear yourself? You'll steal my technology and use it for your own selfish ends, but then say that your own work can't be made into weapons? What hypocrisy.
no subject
No. I'm not stealing it. I'm--that isn't the kind of scientist I am. If that were true, I would have looked at the heart immediately and never bothered coming here. I want to see how it works.
I was already working on something. It just... It became extremely dangerous because it could learn. It evolves. I'm trying to perfect it, to study it. It could be one of Runeterra's greatest benefactors. A revolution for medical treatment. But I can't do that... if I'm dead.
no subject
Oh, but you are. Because what are you going to do when I rebuff you again, because you're not the first man of your kind that I've met?
[proceed to study the heart anyway? that is theft.]
As far as I'm concerned, you're better off dead. Why do you think that you can revolutionize medical treatment if you need me to save yourself?
Make your own mistakes and risk your life for your work, just as I have. I'm not your shortcut.
no subject
I don't need you. I have never need anyone in my life. Not even when I already risked it to find a way to cure myself. It was about learning new things from other brillaint minds, sharing research so I could go back and create something better.
I am the brain behind Hextech, but I would be a fool to say I was the sole person who created it because I had a partner.
Yes, I am going to look at the heart. Just as you would look at the Hex Core if our positions were reversed. To find a way to live longer than just twenty three without having to do it over and over. To find a way to allow others to still feel as many emotions as they can without having to shut down like an over-clocked engine.
Neither of what we've created is perfect on its own, no matter how arrogantly you think it's acceptable. Science cannot grow without the ingenuity of shared concepts with the people willing to try whatever is necessary to succeed.
no subject
Your HexTech sounds like child's play to me. [scien i will fucking kill you myself]
You said 'shared concepts' and conferring with other brilliant minds? You're nothing to me. You're not even a speck compared to Dahut.
no subject
That's fine.
[The determination has plateaued, level with a residual numbness. He does not sound or feel angry. There can be no scientist without believing in your own creations. He smiles, in fact, a very mild, hollow one.]
I don't care why you did it. You can live with your mistakes as I have to live with mine.
[His hand slides down; he lift the crutch up off the ground by the middle, and he turns to walk away with only the barest hints of any limp. He stops to turn his head without looking all the way back.]
I may not have had long to live, but I can at least experience it while I'm here without self-destructing.
[And then he keeps going.]