[that's very cute. she's coming back dazed, having barely had time to be conscious before she died and came back with fig leaf censorship. it takes her a second to even realize she's naked and he's embarrassed about that, but she'll take the towel and wrap it around her. also yeah she does have a bunch of the stupid tattoos.]
...So, that's efficient. Better than the med pods.
Well. I don't know that I want to hold onto these memories. It's one thing to go through your own trauma, but it's another to go through someone else's. What's the point?
[listen, she's not clueless what this is about, either. it feels weird to talk too much about someone else's memories, but also it literally happened to her and also it's his boo so it's probably fine.]
...The journal, mostly. We had it from the start, and started getting obsessed with it. I started feeling like Sidon was going to try and take it from me and I had to stop him. The eyes came after a little while, but made things worse.
[Imagine Lucien had kept all this a secret somehow. But he understands, and is not interested in ratshaking everything out of her.
Mostly because he already knows a lot of it. Finally, he chanced a glance back and then looks at her when he realizes she is clothed.]
He does. He said it appeared a while back. He said the mages are silent here, so... I don't know if the journal is the same way or not. The Hex Core so far... is also quiet. So...
I wish I could help him, but... I'm pretty powerless, and he is pretty stubborn. I imagine he may still be using it desperately.
For us, it wasn't exactly easy to decide to get rid of it. Something bad happened on the second day and I think we all felt like we were done and wanted nothing to do with it, but we still couldn't resist looking at it, and when we woke up the next morning it had gotten worse.
I don't know. Maybe he should throw it out the airlock.
[He doesn't want to be able to understand that, but he does. He commiserates with the idea of something very powerful and tantalizing and dangerous just sitting there near you, begging to be used.]
He definitely should throw it out of the airlock. [Hmm.] ...Do you think he'd... put it in the garbage? I'd throw it in the recycling room for him.
[she has to consider that for a moment, frowning.]
I don't know. I think he's more likely to listen to you about that than me. If it were me, I'd be desperate to get rid of it while I still could, but who knows how he feels about it.
If I know him, then I think he is probably clinging to it only because he thinks he will be able to use its power to do something about all this if the power happened to return.
Because he is... [saying this like he has almost never said this word in his life, the cursing virginity of it:] ...a dumbass.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...So, that's efficient. Better than the med pods.
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I'm not sure if we should start... um, devaluing the gravity of death, but yes. It's a lot better.
[He keeps his head turned away until she is wrapped up, and then he finally looks a her.]
Feeling better?
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We've gone far enough still being here at all. I'm comfortable continuing to devalue the gravity of death.
[she's not sure how she feels, but that means she would prefer to act like she feels great.]
Much better.
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[(vash voice)
He smiles weakly at her.]
It's rough, I know. I'm sorry.
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...It is. I don't like letting things get to me, especially when they're designed to. But it wasn't very fun.
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It's okay if they do, you know. I think it's best if they do. So you do not forget. Like the death.
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Well. I don't know that I want to hold onto these memories. It's one thing to go through your own trauma, but it's another to go through someone else's. What's the point?
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[Maybe at the cost of some personal mental health which isn't good. It's fine.
He will take her back to the pods so she can get some clothes in privacy.]
They were bad?
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Pretty bad, yes. We all went crazy and killed each other.
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He is standing off out of the way with his back to her because he is a bottom, but these things are clear on what of his face can be seen.]
Because of the Eyes?
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...The journal, mostly. We had it from the start, and started getting obsessed with it. I started feeling like Sidon was going to try and take it from me and I had to stop him. The eyes came after a little while, but made things worse.
Sidon says he has that thing here.
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Mostly because he already knows a lot of it. Finally, he chanced a glance back and then looks at her when he realizes she is clothed.]
He does. He said it appeared a while back. He said the mages are silent here, so... I don't know if the journal is the same way or not. The Hex Core so far... is also quiet. So...
I wish I could help him, but... I'm pretty powerless, and he is pretty stubborn. I imagine he may still be using it desperately.
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I don't know. Maybe he should throw it out the airlock.
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[He doesn't want to be able to understand that, but he does. He commiserates with the idea of something very powerful and tantalizing and dangerous just sitting there near you, begging to be used.]
He definitely should throw it out of the airlock. [Hmm.] ...Do you think he'd... put it in the garbage? I'd throw it in the recycling room for him.
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I don't know. I think he's more likely to listen to you about that than me. If it were me, I'd be desperate to get rid of it while I still could, but who knows how he feels about it.
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If I know him, then I think he is probably clinging to it only because he thinks he will be able to use its power to do something about all this if the power happened to return.
Because he is... [saying this like he has almost never said this word in his life, the cursing virginity of it:] ...a dumbass.
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[she maybe means it slightly less fondly but no less sincerely.]
It wouldn't be forcing you to hang onto it if it didn't need that for something.