[How easily his head goes, but he ends up making a playfully exasperated face.
Turning onto his side, he reaches up and puts a hand on Lucien's chest, trying to coax Lucien into lying down again without making it obvious. Gesticulate while lying down, idiod. He brings his hand back to himself, but not before sort of hooking it over Lucien's elbow. He hates how Lucien can get him to snort in amusement between them like a secret.]
I never really thought about it... No one was particularly interested in the cripple from the Undercity. It was worse when I got into Piltover. Of course, you could have your pick from the best there. No need for the guy with the crutch and the leg brace, the spine full of screws and the ugly back brace.
So I didn't give it much thought when... I just used it for progress. Better to ruin a body already ruined, right? I just think that... there are more attractive people here for that sort of thing. [A wry laugh.] Maybe more fun, too.
[ lucien isn't charismatic, but he has a certain charm to him. there's quite a few people following him across eiselcross for this exact reason.]
Established already that I don't give a single red copper piece about what anyone else thinks is the "best." They're wrong. They're all bastards and fools, blind to anything that actually matters.
[ see the previously stated lucien-is-always-correct clause. he does come back down, but after a moment leans over to close the distance - letting his forehead rest against viktor's, red-on-red eyes searching for ... something. ]
I stopped caring about any of this. My body is an instrument, a cage, and is here only to serve the purpose of transporting me until I no longer have need of it. When I reobtained it, I slid back inside the skin and it didn't fit anymore. It doesn't look how I left it, it doesn't feel the same - a hollowed puppet, and one I no longer belong in. Tattooed and shoved through with metal, holes drilled through the horns. Splinters beneath the surface. The Eyes lay claim to what little is left.
Some days it isn't so terrible, especially here, when it's quiet and I can hear my own thoughts. But still, I traded flesh for knowledge - for control - same as you.
[ curling his arm up to slide his hand over viktor's, pressing it back against his chest, under the edge of the shirt - heartbeat erratic and heavy. ]
[The expression on his face softens in surprise. Maybe not about what he's hearing so much as being handed it like a gift.
Lucien understands, and he understands. It's strange to have someone who understands.
His thumb strokes the scarred purple skin over the wild heart reassuringly. Wryly still:] Thinking about... making a new one actually. If you want to join. [A joke that is so close to becoming real it is perhaps no longer a joke.
He frees his hand, dipping it below the end of one horn so he can rest it on the side of Lucien's face. He doesn't judge the absolute unhinged madness going on here because he can't. Though, as an altruist, it does make him sad, and as someone who has spent his entire life building and fixing, it makes him frustrated. A little more seriously:]
I'm kind of fond now of what's sitting in the skin that doesn't fit, so... try not to fling every little piece to the end of time and space again, alright? I'm not a cleric. It'd be such a pain for me to dig you out of the universal garbage soup.
[ this makes him laugh - hard - genuine for the first time in a long time. it's something of a relief to do the whole "sorry I came back wrong" speech to someone and they actually seem to get it instead of it sending them screaming. ]
I will certainly try to stay out of the universal garbage soup.
[ there's something nice about hearing that he'd go fishing in the universal garbage soup at all though, isn't there? he is muttering `kind of fond` under his breath with a faux-judgmental tone as he moves to lean in to kiss him again, still snickering a bit. ]
[The laugh makes his face hot because it is so genuine, and that surprises him. It's a charming laugh he might have only vaguely paid attention to if not for pieces lining up.
But the teasing sharpens the fluster, and after kissing Lucien briefly for half a second, he bites Lucien on the mouth because he can't reach the tail to pull it.]
[ hatefully, he likes that? hissing through his teeth and then laughing again, shifting to lift himself up, and said tail does flick from side to side. you know how when you can tell a cat is about to do something terrible and there's nothing you can do to stop it? ]
[He turns a bit, just to keep Lucien in his full line of sight because the tail definitely makes him think he's about to get pounced.
The hand he puts on the front of Lucien's chest to keep Lucien at bay doesn't even put any resistance into it.] Don't, [he warns with a bit of a smirk, clearly very playfully.]
[ well a huge part of the reason he falls is instead of holding himself up he was about to get Argumentative about viktor's tiefling headcanons. actually falling has barely stopped him, he's just flopped over him instead and now crawling up to stick a finger in his face. ]
Don't go from I'll fish your soul out of the soup to fuck off and go to sleep, Lucien in two seconds flat, it's confusing as all hells, Viktor.
[ dont start biting thats how you get a reputation viktor and you'll never be able to shake it. you'll be the bites guy forever. that said, it is a reasonable reaction to any personality that inhabits this particular body. they just deserve to be bitten sometimes.
he scoffs, moving to straddle him instead, still looking vaguely annoyed. ]
[He was such a chill and not feral guy, and then Lucien erased his domesticity in an instant.
His hands nervously dip down to the top of Lucien's thighs, as if he thinks Lucien will teasingly put weight on his waist, and he'll have to try stopping it.]
Probably.
[IT'S TRUE, AND VIKTOR WON'T DENY IT. To Lucien.]
I don't want to hear that from you, of all people, though.
[ like dogs going feral in a pack released in the wild. lucien doesn't put weight on him, he is aware of viktor's bird bones and paper skin and figures that has a 40% chance of outright killing him if he tries. ]
[ ROLLING HIS EYES. but he knows, much like with the healing pod, he is probably not going to get anywhere with this until he actually does as he's told. flopping himself over sideways, doing a very theatrical display of getting comfortable with a pillow and everything - holding out a hand once he's done like see. resting. ]
[The smirk that comes to his face isn't so much smug as it is amused.] Yes. [He throws his legs off the side of the bed and sits up. But quickly, before Lucien panics:] I'm coming back. [He gets up to go retrieve the coat and the needle.
HE IS GONNA FINISH THIS FUCKING THING, SO HELP HIM.
And he does come back with it, settling down on his back with his shoulders and head piling sideways on top of Lucien's upper half. Lucien is now his pillow, thank you.]
Throne wants to stay together this time, so if she doesn't come in, she'll probably call. Do you want to come?
[ he does grumble when viktor starts getting up, but doesn't move to stop him. shifting to get comfortable when he comes back. he's good with the leaning, that's what tits are for. sliding an arm around viktor's shoulders or waist - whatever is easier to reach and out of the way of his sewing - relaxing against him in return. now that he is actually laying down, he is pretty goddamn tired. ]
I'll come. [ shifting like he's sinking in deeper because he's cozy now and doesn't want to think about moving. ] Not for a little while yet at least.
[As long as his arms are up enough--twink waist it is, tiny and there for other men to grab. Flush enough to miss just looking at him, Lucien can now feel the ridges of metal and leather of the back brace through his clothes. He doesn't seem to mind though, like he's comfortable with Lucien in general now.
He is also focused on the repetitive motions of the needle.]
If it follows the same pattern as last time, we all still have a little while, yes. I can wake you up?
[ he doesn't mind the feeling, exactly. he'd meant it when he said he didn't care either way about the state of his body, and there's a certain intimacy in feeling the brace as much as anything else, in being allowed to feel that. as for the proximity, it's nice to have. he's been an adventurer for a long time, and the job doesn't come with a lot of personal space. he's used to people around, idle touching, and it's been a while since he's been able to let his guard down enough for that. ]
You probably won't have to. I don't sleep well.
[ his eyes are closed though, fingers toying idly at the fold of his clothes. ]
[ he's still awake, but he's got his eyes closed - cracking one open when he's looked at, as if he can tell. ]
I don't stay in the room at all. I gave it up. [ so he's not sleeping ... because there's nowhere to really sleep except in short bursts. it's probably not helping the sanity problem. ] It isn't even the Somnovum, it's-- I get nightmares.
[He frowns gently, sympathetic. The needle stays paused a moment.]
Me, too. They got worse after we put together the runic matrix. [He is staring off to the side, looking through the distance.] They started to not even come at night anymore, but in the day...
He is quiet, and it's obvious by how he keeps looking Lucien's way he wants to ask more, but also respects privacy and boundaries because he is the soft side of their same coin.]
Sometimes, when I was younger, I would have dreams about Rio.
[He straightens his head so he can have something to do with his hands while he talks, so he can go back to sewing.]
Rio was a creature a former mentor of mine had made through unethical science. She was... like a giant pink salamander, very sweet. I would go to help him feed her. I already knew she was dying because he told me that when we first met.
But one day, I went to feed her, and I found her suffocating and shriveled on the ground, connected to his tubing, being kept alive. I was horrified. She looked terrible. And then he put her in a stasis tube like the chambers we crawled out of here in the beginning.
I use to dream about her gasping for breath all the time, her eyes glazed over.
[He's stopped sewing without realizing, his hands quivering.]
Now I... dream about Sky being ripped apart by the Hex Core trying to stop me from being a fool.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Turning onto his side, he reaches up and puts a hand on Lucien's chest, trying to coax Lucien into lying down again without making it obvious. Gesticulate while lying down, idiod. He brings his hand back to himself, but not before sort of hooking it over Lucien's elbow. He hates how Lucien can get him to snort in amusement between them like a secret.]
I never really thought about it... No one was particularly interested in the cripple from the Undercity. It was worse when I got into Piltover. Of course, you could have your pick from the best there. No need for the guy with the crutch and the leg brace, the spine full of screws and the ugly back brace.
So I didn't give it much thought when... I just used it for progress. Better to ruin a body already ruined, right? I just think that... there are more attractive people here for that sort of thing. [A wry laugh.] Maybe more fun, too.
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Established already that I don't give a single red copper piece about what anyone else thinks is the "best." They're wrong. They're all bastards and fools, blind to anything that actually matters.
[ see the previously stated lucien-is-always-correct clause. he does come back down, but after a moment leans over to close the distance - letting his forehead rest against viktor's, red-on-red eyes searching for ... something. ]
I stopped caring about any of this. My body is an instrument, a cage, and is here only to serve the purpose of transporting me until I no longer have need of it. When I reobtained it, I slid back inside the skin and it didn't fit anymore. It doesn't look how I left it, it doesn't feel the same - a hollowed puppet, and one I no longer belong in. Tattooed and shoved through with metal, holes drilled through the horns. Splinters beneath the surface. The Eyes lay claim to what little is left.
Some days it isn't so terrible, especially here, when it's quiet and I can hear my own thoughts. But still, I traded flesh for knowledge - for control - same as you.
[ curling his arm up to slide his hand over viktor's, pressing it back against his chest, under the edge of the shirt - heartbeat erratic and heavy. ]
This isn't entirely mine. So, a ruin for a ruin.
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Lucien understands, and he understands. It's strange to have someone who understands.
His thumb strokes the scarred purple skin over the wild heart reassuringly. Wryly still:] Thinking about... making a new one actually. If you want to join. [A joke that is so close to becoming real it is perhaps no longer a joke.
He frees his hand, dipping it below the end of one horn so he can rest it on the side of Lucien's face. He doesn't judge the absolute unhinged madness going on here because he can't. Though, as an altruist, it does make him sad, and as someone who has spent his entire life building and fixing, it makes him frustrated. A little more seriously:]
I'm kind of fond now of what's sitting in the skin that doesn't fit, so... try not to fling every little piece to the end of time and space again, alright? I'm not a cleric. It'd be such a pain for me to dig you out of the universal garbage soup.
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I will certainly try to stay out of the universal garbage soup.
[ there's something nice about hearing that he'd go fishing in the universal garbage soup at all though, isn't there? he is muttering `kind of fond` under his breath with a faux-judgmental tone as he moves to lean in to kiss him again, still snickering a bit. ]
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But the teasing sharpens the fluster, and after kissing Lucien briefly for half a second, he bites Lucien on the mouth because he can't reach the tail to pull it.]
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Oi. Who said you weren't fun?
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The hand he puts on the front of Lucien's chest to keep Lucien at bay doesn't even put any resistance into it.] Don't, [he warns with a bit of a smirk, clearly very playfully.]
You're supposed to be resting, I thought?
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I am resting? This is perfectly restful.
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This is... some kind of... racial resting thing...? Lucien!
[His arm gives out. OOF?]
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[ well a huge part of the reason he falls is instead of holding himself up he was about to get Argumentative about viktor's tiefling headcanons. actually falling has barely stopped him, he's just flopped over him instead and now crawling up to stick a finger in his face. ]
Don't go from I'll fish your soul out of the soup to fuck off and go to sleep, Lucien in two seconds flat, it's confusing as all hells, Viktor.
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But then he laughs, genuine himself, except it's quiet and airy.]
You're pretty attractive when you're annoyed with me.
[This might be better than
biting the finger.]
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he scoffs, moving to straddle him instead, still looking vaguely annoyed. ]
That's because there's something wrong with you.
[ true, but he shouldn't say it. ]
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His hands nervously dip down to the top of Lucien's thighs, as if he thinks Lucien will teasingly put weight on his waist, and he'll have to try stopping it.]
Probably.
[IT'S TRUE, AND VIKTOR WON'T DENY IT. To Lucien.]
I don't want to hear that from you, of all people, though.
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I never said there wasn't anything wrong with me.
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At least keep pretending. You're supposed to be good at that, right? Acting. You know what else you're supposed to be good at?
[Levels him with a Look.]
Resting.
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Happy?
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HE IS GONNA FINISH THIS FUCKING THING, SO HELP HIM.
And he does come back with it, settling down on his back with his shoulders and head piling sideways on top of Lucien's upper half. Lucien is now his pillow, thank you.]
Throne wants to stay together this time, so if she doesn't come in, she'll probably call. Do you want to come?
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I'll come. [ shifting like he's sinking in deeper because he's cozy now and doesn't want to think about moving. ] Not for a little while yet at least.
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He is also focused on the repetitive motions of the needle.]
If it follows the same pattern as last time, we all still have a little while, yes. I can wake you up?
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You probably won't have to. I don't sleep well.
[ his eyes are closed though, fingers toying idly at the fold of his clothes. ]
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[He pulls the needle through a few more times in silence. Then he rolls his head to glance briefly over at Lucien, mostly to check on him.]
Have you been sleeping poorly here? [Quiet, in case Lucien is asleep.] I mean, besides the domestic bickering in your room.
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I don't stay in the room at all. I gave it up. [ so he's not sleeping ... because there's nowhere to really sleep except in short bursts. it's probably not helping the sanity problem. ] It isn't even the Somnovum, it's-- I get nightmares.
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Me, too. They got worse after we put together the runic matrix. [He is staring off to the side, looking through the distance.] They started to not even come at night anymore, but in the day...
[He glances up suddenly, sheepish.]
Sorry. What... kind of nightmares are they?
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Don't say sorry.
[ he likes hearing that viktor's brain is just as terrible. ]
Things that refuse to die, mostly.
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He is quiet, and it's obvious by how he keeps looking Lucien's way he wants to ask more, but also respects privacy and boundaries because he is the soft side of their same coin.]
Sometimes, when I was younger, I would have dreams about Rio.
[He straightens his head so he can have something to do with his hands while he talks, so he can go back to sewing.]
Rio was a creature a former mentor of mine had made through unethical science. She was... like a giant pink salamander, very sweet. I would go to help him feed her. I already knew she was dying because he told me that when we first met.
But one day, I went to feed her, and I found her suffocating and shriveled on the ground, connected to his tubing, being kept alive. I was horrified. She looked terrible. And then he put her in a stasis tube like the chambers we crawled out of here in the beginning.
I use to dream about her gasping for breath all the time, her eyes glazed over.
[He's stopped sewing without realizing, his hands quivering.]
Now I... dream about Sky being ripped apart by the Hex Core trying to stop me from being a fool.
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