[ANNA WHAT THE FCK IS THIS SURPRISE VIKTOR LORE HELP ME? HE WAS HET AND SHE TURNED TO ASH??????????????
Eunhyuk looks at his hand. Later, he'll think about how Viktor had refused to show it to anyone during trial. Now, he simply looks, and listens. He thinks about how rationally -- if someone took their stories and lined them up side by side, then they might say that neither Eunhyuk or Viktor are at fault for what happened. But guilt is real and stronger than logic,]
...You didn't know.
[that she would come in, that she would make that decision. just like eunhyuk hadn't known the bandits would attack,]
He shakes his head slowly, brows furrowing.] We didn't know. [Because it's true. Neither of them thought that something like that would happen. He didn't know Sky would walk in. Eunhyuk didn't know the bandits would attack.]
They... didn't deserve that. I understand. But it's happened, and... we can't change that.
[He feels bad... for Eunhyuk. He feels guilty and ashamed for himself, and he's sure these are feelings Eunhyuk turns inward, too. But he feels sympathy for Eunhyuk. As if... it's different somehow.
As if Eunhyuk deserves the forgiveness.]
I know.
[He can't say it will be fine because he does not think it's fine for himself.]
I'm sorry, Eunhyuk. That... it turned out that way for both of us.
[NOT EACH OF THEM WANTING THE OTHER DUDE TO LIVE!!!!!! They're garbage.
The fact he wants to both agree and disagree. They're in an echo chamber of self-hate here. He reaches up to put a hand on Eunhyuk's shoulders, giving it a squeeze that's meant to be reassuring. He nods his head faintly.]
Me, too. Let's live then... and, afterward, whatever happens if we get back... Well, that's up to fate to decide. But for now, we'll live.
Eunhyuk looks at Viktor and thinks of their very first conversation, about what they last remember from their situations. But he's also just seen a very private part of Viktor, is it worth trying to peel something else from him now?
and anyway, he doesn't really have a leg (or life hee hee) to stand on here,]
We do have a lot to figure out before then. [THEIR GY PLOT] At least that gives us something to do.
[Look. Sometimes... you're dying, and you're dying, and even if you fix the dying, you're STILL dying... Win some, lose some.
ALSO SHUT UP.]
I know you're just going to make fun of me, but... try not to dwell on it too much. I can say this to you because clearly... I've just done as worse. So don't try to tell me I'm a hypocrite. I know that already.
anyway Eunhyuk straightens, inhales. there is no avoiding the fact he will be as awkward as viktor when he yells into the void but they've formed a sacred bond of not making fun of each other so,]
Fuck!
[no maybe hitting things wouldn't look this uncool actually]
An amused smile, subdued much like Eunhyuk's always is, appears on Viktor's face when Eunhyuk screams out the curse. So this is what it feels like to be on the other side!!! Good job, Eunhyuk...
He also draws in a breath after a moment.]
Fuck!
[They can yell fuck together to get it all out. This is by far the STUPIDEST thing, but somehow... not only does it work, but he doesn't feel as dumb when they both understand.]
[anna every time i come back to this thread i start laughing WHY ARE THEY SO FUNNY!!!!
It looked so uncool when he did it... but it's true that when Viktor joins in, he feels better... this is why jocks run naked during undie run because group activities make you brave,]
Fuck!!!
[i want to make a fck buddies joke so bad but i feel like eunhyuk would not make it and it tears me up inside]
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Eunhyuk looks at his hand. Later, he'll think about how Viktor had refused to show it to anyone during trial. Now, he simply looks, and listens. He thinks about how rationally -- if someone took their stories and lined them up side by side, then they might say that neither Eunhyuk or Viktor are at fault for what happened. But guilt is real and stronger than logic,]
...You didn't know.
[that she would come in, that she would make that decision. just like eunhyuk hadn't known the bandits would attack,]
But I know that doesn't change anything.
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He shakes his head slowly, brows furrowing.] We didn't know. [Because it's true. Neither of them thought that something like that would happen. He didn't know Sky would walk in. Eunhyuk didn't know the bandits would attack.]
They... didn't deserve that. I understand. But it's happened, and... we can't change that.
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...]
...That weight would crush anyone. But... I think for people like us, who've only wanted to save others...
[...well,]
I guess it weighs on us more.
[THEY ARE REALLY SAD BLANKET CAT]
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As if Eunhyuk deserves the forgiveness.]
I know.
[He can't say it will be fine because he does not think it's fine for himself.]
I'm sorry, Eunhyuk. That... it turned out that way for both of us.
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Eunhyuk does not know what Viktor is thinking, but he can hear what he's saying.]
I'm sorry too. [HE ALSO WANTS VIKTOR TO FORGIVE HIMSELF!!!!
...]
...But I still want us to live, despite what we've done.
[that feels like the bigger sin, in a way. but it's what he thinks]
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The fact he wants to both agree and disagree. They're in an echo chamber of self-hate here. He reaches up to put a hand on Eunhyuk's shoulders, giving it a squeeze that's meant to be reassuring. He nods his head faintly.]
Me, too. Let's live then... and, afterward, whatever happens if we get back... Well, that's up to fate to decide. But for now, we'll live.
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Eunhyuk looks at Viktor and thinks of their very first conversation, about what they last remember from their situations. But he's also just seen a very private part of Viktor, is it worth trying to peel something else from him now?
and anyway, he doesn't really have a leg (or life hee hee) to stand on here,]
We do have a lot to figure out before then. [THEIR GY PLOT] At least that gives us something to do.
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ALSO SHUT UP.]
I know you're just going to make fun of me, but... try not to dwell on it too much. I can say this to you because clearly... I've just done as worse. So don't try to tell me I'm a hypocrite. I know that already.
...Want to scream some curses?
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Eunhyuk would never because he's just been banned, but his eyes do crinkle a little at Viktor's suggestion.]
Sure. I'd rather do that then run around and hit things.
[srry to sidon and luke he means no shade he just isn't a physical kind of guy]
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He removes his hand from Eunhyuk's shoulder so he can gesture the space.]
Go ahead.
[He would also enjoy yelling loudly than beating shit up. He isn't a Champion yet with a Hex Claw, so.]
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anyway Eunhyuk straightens, inhales. there is no avoiding the fact he will be as awkward as viktor when he yells into the void but they've formed a sacred bond of not making fun of each other so,]
Fuck!
[no maybe hitting things wouldn't look this uncool actually]
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An amused smile, subdued much like Eunhyuk's always is, appears on Viktor's face when Eunhyuk screams out the curse. So this is what it feels like to be on the other side!!! Good job, Eunhyuk...
He also draws in a breath after a moment.]
Fuck!
[They can yell fuck together to get it all out. This is by far the STUPIDEST thing, but somehow... not only does it work, but he doesn't feel as dumb when they both understand.]
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It looked so uncool when he did it... but it's true that when Viktor joins in, he feels better... this is why jocks run naked during undie run because group activities make you brave,]
Fuck!!!
[i want to make a fck buddies joke so bad but i feel like eunhyuk would not make it and it tears me up inside]
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Instead of just smiling, he actually laughs, even if this entire encounter has left it sort of subdued. Still a laugh.]
FUCK!
[They're getting it all out.]