[kills you for giving me this during the very start of endgame SLITS YOUR THROAT
He really... realizes in this moment, he does not know hardly anything about Sidon's past, or family, or lineage. The guilt of understanding he had never really bothered to question Sidon out of respect swells up in him as the memory fades.
The anxiety makes a lot more sense now. Sidon's worry over him, the true fear he remembers from Sidon after coming back. It makes sense.
He puts a gentle hand on Sidon's arm, frozen in uncertainty for a long moment.]
[ i've never done anything wrong in my LIFE also give me an endgame pc
anyway, that's not viktor's fault; he's not one to talk about these things naturally. he has the social grace to dodge bringing up an awkward conversational subject such as dead family members most of the time. it's kind of nice, actually, being in a place where his greatest loss isn't flagrantly public knowledge, a notch in the timeline of an entire species.
he briefly winces as the void fades again, though it evens out when he pats viktor's hand. ]
It's all right, my friend. It was a hundred years ago now.
[ which is an entire human lifespan, if he recalls correctly. ]
He does not remove his hand. And, actually, he doesn't stop from looking at Sidon directly.]
It doesn't matter how long it's been. Things like that don't just disappear with time.
[They get better to endure, sure, but they do not go away. He is not going to sit here and think that Sky's death is going to vanish from his mind if he lived to be eighty.]
[ it's rare that viktor maintains eye contact like this, but his determination when it's time to be kind is always impressive.
besides, he's right. ]
...No, they don't.
[ grief is something that gets easier, smaller, but not really any less potent. it can rise right back up, as sudden as a storm at sea. and when it doesn't hurt, it shapes you—molds fears and goals and expectations. like now. is it okay? it is what it is. ]
I can talk of my sister with fondness and laughter now, as she deserves. But her loss will never leave me. [ he pauses. ruffles viktor's hair in a familiar way, now, with a tired but genuine fondness. ] It makes me overbearing at times, I think. I hope you will endure it.
[NOT THE RUFFLE. His hair just sticks up even more than it was already sticking up probably. It's fine. He doesn't even bother trying to fix it. He has given up on that.]
I'll endure.
[It's nice, he's learned... to... have people who will care about you regardless of whether or not you think you deserve it at all. It's nice. He's... slowly starting to accept that from others without immense shame and guilt.]
She was lovely. From what I saw. I would have liked to meet her. [A weak smile.] I think she would be very proud of you, Sidon. You are someone to be proud of.
[ if you're done with game tags forever that's fine anna, as i let out a death rattle and take a break from my tlcrs
they've really come a long way if viktor can accept a kind word without argument or deeply internalized shame. he'll have to endure this forever now that we know he's going to be healthy. though this time it's his turn to be a little embarrassed, actually. ]
You're my friend! You're obliged to say as much.
[ ...still, he's obviously pleased to hear it. unfortunate as it is, he does want to make his very dead sister happy. ]
The two of you would've gotten along. Despite your stubbornness, she'd probably have convinced you to take better care of yourself. [ healer instinct. she helped link stay alive, and that guy is always right about to die. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He really... realizes in this moment, he does not know hardly anything about Sidon's past, or family, or lineage. The guilt of understanding he had never really bothered to question Sidon out of respect swells up in him as the memory fades.
The anxiety makes a lot more sense now. Sidon's worry over him, the true fear he remembers from Sidon after coming back. It makes sense.
He puts a gentle hand on Sidon's arm, frozen in uncertainty for a long moment.]
Sidon... I'm sorry.
no subject
anyway, that's not viktor's fault; he's not one to talk about these things naturally. he has the social grace to dodge bringing up an awkward conversational subject such as dead family members most of the time. it's kind of nice, actually, being in a place where his greatest loss isn't flagrantly public knowledge, a notch in the timeline of an entire species.
he briefly winces as the void fades again, though it evens out when he pats viktor's hand. ]
It's all right, my friend. It was a hundred years ago now.
[ which is an entire human lifespan, if he recalls correctly. ]
no subject
He does not remove his hand. And, actually, he doesn't stop from looking at Sidon directly.]
It doesn't matter how long it's been. Things like that don't just disappear with time.
[They get better to endure, sure, but they do not go away. He is not going to sit here and think that Sky's death is going to vanish from his mind if he lived to be eighty.]
And that's okay.
no subject
besides, he's right. ]
...No, they don't.
[ grief is something that gets easier, smaller, but not really any less potent. it can rise right back up, as sudden as a storm at sea. and when it doesn't hurt, it shapes you—molds fears and goals and expectations. like now. is it okay? it is what it is. ]
I can talk of my sister with fondness and laughter now, as she deserves. But her loss will never leave me. [ he pauses. ruffles viktor's hair in a familiar way, now, with a tired but genuine fondness. ] It makes me overbearing at times, I think. I hope you will endure it.
no subject
I'll endure.
[It's nice, he's learned... to... have people who will care about you regardless of whether or not you think you deserve it at all. It's nice. He's... slowly starting to accept that from others without immense shame and guilt.]
She was lovely. From what I saw. I would have liked to meet her. [A weak smile.] I think she would be very proud of you, Sidon. You are someone to be proud of.
no subject
they've really come a long way if viktor can accept a kind word without argument or deeply internalized shame. he'll have to endure this forever now that we know he's going to be healthy. though this time it's his turn to be a little embarrassed, actually. ]
You're my friend! You're obliged to say as much.
[ ...still, he's obviously pleased to hear it. unfortunate as it is, he does want to make his very dead sister happy. ]
The two of you would've gotten along. Despite your stubbornness, she'd probably have convinced you to take better care of yourself. [ healer instinct. she helped link stay alive, and that guy is always right about to die. ]