a little hum as he organizes his thoughts, recollecting. ]
I said... that you were important to me, and that I had likely confused your feelings when I told you as much. So I asked him to be patient, and that I don't intend to make you choose between anyone.
[ since lucien had seemed threatened of him, a little. ]
We talked a bit more, beyond that, but... [ a pause. he shakes his head, starting to look apologetic. ] It felt dishonorable to hide what I think of you. I'm sorry, had I overstepped...?
[I REALLY DID WHOLE ASS FORGET YOU WERE THERE LAST WEEK HELP ME this is what happens when you tag at 8 am after waking up
He returns the squeeze.]
I think he was more upset with himself... You are a very formidable man to go up against, you know? Kind, courageous, strong. I want you to never lose those things.
[...]
Lucien really isn't... the best man to be in love with. I don't think he would disagree. Terrible choice really. But... I am. I hope you can forgive me if... it seemed like I was playing with your feelings. I think these different weeks have made it worse, made me do things with you I would have normally understood not to do to hurt someone. [Quickly:] I don't regret them, but... still.
You are very important to me regardless. I'm just not sure... [A sigh.] I can't see myself... in the place where you're going to be needed, especially one day in the future. I'm truly insignificant in every way.
And... knowing I... Knowing my life is even shorter than it already is, putting that on you. I can't do that. I care about you too much.
he listens, and there is a moment of something curious in the way he tilts his head, his expression, then something a little harder to put a word to. but it's quickly swept up into a bright smile. ]
It's all right—don't apologize. I enjoyed those moments! I hope you don't mind if I think on them fondly.
[ then he cups viktor's face, planting a firm kiss to his cheek, a show of good will. he leaves his hand there as he speaks. ]
You're still a fool though, Viktor. [ he's quick to correct, because he's always supported this: ] Not about you and Lucien. It isn't wrong to treasure a connection like that. But you could never be insignificant to me—you care so much that you're afraid for me, but I am not.
[ he meets his eyes, fondness open and unabated as ever. ]
I told you love doesn't need to be any more or less than you want. I still love you! However long the rest of your life is, I'll love you for it. [ it's fine if it's not romantic. he has loved so many people without romance. ] I hope you aren't too afraid to turn that away, my dear friend.
[Aaaaaaaaa. The color of the skin of his face darkens after the kiss. He really does care a lot about Sidon! But Sidon is owed his attention, so he gives it without looking away.
Slowly, he smiles slightly. There is something infectious about Sidon's smiles, and hopes, and joys. He reaches up to put his hand on Sidon's arm, tugging, trying to get Sidon to come down to him. When Sidon does, he wraps his arms around Sidon's neck and hugs Sidon firmly, tightly.]
Thank you, Sidon. You have given me a kindness I'll never be able to repay. I appreciate it more than anything.
I won't turn it away. I'll still rely on you and your help if you'll rely on me.
[ he drops down to meet him, because of course he does. he's used to this now. he draws his arms around viktor's back and returns the hug more fiercely than usual, as though he's making a point. ]
Naturally! [ the enthusiasm ebbs a little, turning softer; just a flicker of vulnerability. ] ...You are my best friend here, Viktor. I wouldn't know what to do without you.
[ he'll rely on him until whatever end is waiting. ]
His look is surprised, and then it softens gently. He has... never had anyone really to be his friend much less a best friend. Jayce maybe, Jayce had been the closest, like a brother. But no one else bothered with him.
Sidon reminds him of Rio, too, and he vehemently doesn't want anything like that to happen to Sidon. He puts a hand on the side of Sidon's face and offers a small smile.]
Thank you. You are mine, too. This is alright with you...? You don't have to... if you don't want to; I understand.
he laughs, leaning his head into viktor's hand, nuzzling it with the obnoxious cheer that he always has. ]
What part of what I said makes you think I want to leave?
[ he still loves you, you stupid bag of dilapidated glass bones. it just... all needs to be reconfigured back into something platonic. he'll deal with it; it's hard to get mad over the end of something that hadn't started. sincerely: ]
I would be more upset if not being partners meant we couldn't be friends, too.
[Sidon is such a polyamorous fishman........ This makes Viktor laughed a bit while petting Sidon's face.]
Well... It happens often with humans. Feeling jealous and hurt when someone loves someone else, so they turn away and separate themselves. But... you're not a human, are you? Sorry, I didn't mean to stick you in the same mold.
I'm glad, but if you ever change your mind, I understand.
[ sometimes you just... have a lot of love...... ]
It's fine—I'm sure there are Zora like that too.
[ not like they're lacking pettiness and jealousy sometimes. but when you live to be like 400+, perspectives change. however, more clumsily, because he is not actually A MASTER at this, he's like mentally 21, ]
Though, um... likewise. If you need space! Tell me, all right?
[ VIKTORRRRR you are so stupid... but he's cute! why is he cute, it's a problem. he feels a swell of affection that's removed from the week's influence, laughing. ]
You could've just said that from the beginning!
[ and—he feels a little justified with all that's happened in leaning in, pressing his lips at the corner of his mouth. not quite on it. ]
Don't worry! If you'll have me, then I won't ever be far.
[GOD. His face becomes fairly red when he gets smooched. He touches the spot, bewildered by why people are so infatuated with him when he is a dried up bag of dusty idiot.
Cannot emphasize how shocking this is to a man who thought no one ever paid any bit of attention to him at all.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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A little, yes.
[The fact Amalthea has o stand there and watch them be insane.]
I'd like to know what you talked about... from your side.
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a little hum as he organizes his thoughts, recollecting. ]
I said... that you were important to me, and that I had likely confused your feelings when I told you as much. So I asked him to be patient, and that I don't intend to make you choose between anyone.
[ since lucien had seemed threatened of him, a little. ]
We talked a bit more, beyond that, but... [ a pause. he shakes his head, starting to look apologetic. ] It felt dishonorable to hide what I think of you. I'm sorry, had I overstepped...?
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His anxious expression softens. He shakes his head quickly, reaching up to put a hand on Sidon's arm.]
No, you're okay. I was just curious. Lucien can be... dramatic sometimes, [all the time] so I was hoping he wasn't rude to you about it.
I should have... spoken to him sooner, like you did.
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he really asked lucien to be nice and thought that would work out somehow. his fins droop a little as he takes viktor's hand and gives it a squeeze. ]
No, I—you shouldn't have to talk about anything before you're comfortable.
[ he should've just sent a letter..... that clearly would've gone much better......... . ]
I hope he wasn't too upset with you.
no subject
He returns the squeeze.]
I think he was more upset with himself... You are a very formidable man to go up against, you know? Kind, courageous, strong. I want you to never lose those things.
[...]
Lucien really isn't... the best man to be in love with. I don't think he would disagree. Terrible choice really. But... I am. I hope you can forgive me if... it seemed like I was playing with your feelings. I think these different weeks have made it worse, made me do things with you I would have normally understood not to do to hurt someone. [Quickly:] I don't regret them, but... still.
You are very important to me regardless. I'm just not sure... [A sigh.] I can't see myself... in the place where you're going to be needed, especially one day in the future. I'm truly insignificant in every way.
And... knowing I... Knowing my life is even shorter than it already is, putting that on you. I can't do that. I care about you too much.
no subject
he listens, and there is a moment of something curious in the way he tilts his head, his expression, then something a little harder to put a word to. but it's quickly swept up into a bright smile. ]
It's all right—don't apologize. I enjoyed those moments! I hope you don't mind if I think on them fondly.
[ then he cups viktor's face, planting a firm kiss to his cheek, a show of good will. he leaves his hand there as he speaks. ]
You're still a fool though, Viktor. [ he's quick to correct, because he's always supported this: ] Not about you and Lucien. It isn't wrong to treasure a connection like that. But you could never be insignificant to me—you care so much that you're afraid for me, but I am not.
[ he meets his eyes, fondness open and unabated as ever. ]
I told you love doesn't need to be any more or less than you want. I still love you! However long the rest of your life is, I'll love you for it. [ it's fine if it's not romantic. he has loved so many people without romance. ] I hope you aren't too afraid to turn that away, my dear friend.
no subject
Slowly, he smiles slightly. There is something infectious about Sidon's smiles, and hopes, and joys. He reaches up to put his hand on Sidon's arm, tugging, trying to get Sidon to come down to him. When Sidon does, he wraps his arms around Sidon's neck and hugs Sidon firmly, tightly.]
Thank you, Sidon. You have given me a kindness I'll never be able to repay. I appreciate it more than anything.
I won't turn it away. I'll still rely on you and your help if you'll rely on me.
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Naturally! [ the enthusiasm ebbs a little, turning softer; just a flicker of vulnerability. ] ...You are my best friend here, Viktor. I wouldn't know what to do without you.
[ he'll rely on him until whatever end is waiting. ]
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His look is surprised, and then it softens gently. He has... never had anyone really to be his friend much less a best friend. Jayce maybe, Jayce had been the closest, like a brother. But no one else bothered with him.
Sidon reminds him of Rio, too, and he vehemently doesn't want anything like that to happen to Sidon. He puts a hand on the side of Sidon's face and offers a small smile.]
Thank you. You are mine, too. This is alright with you...? You don't have to... if you don't want to; I understand.
[Hanging around him.]
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he laughs, leaning his head into viktor's hand, nuzzling it with the obnoxious cheer that he always has. ]
What part of what I said makes you think I want to leave?
[ he still loves you, you stupid bag of dilapidated glass bones. it just... all needs to be reconfigured back into something platonic. he'll deal with it; it's hard to get mad over the end of something that hadn't started. sincerely: ]
I would be more upset if not being partners meant we couldn't be friends, too.
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Well... It happens often with humans. Feeling jealous and hurt when someone loves someone else, so they turn away and separate themselves. But... you're not a human, are you? Sorry, I didn't mean to stick you in the same mold.
I'm glad, but if you ever change your mind, I understand.
no subject
It's fine—I'm sure there are Zora like that too.
[ not like they're lacking pettiness and jealousy sometimes. but when you live to be like 400+, perspectives change. however, more clumsily, because he is not actually A MASTER at this, he's like mentally 21, ]
Though, um... likewise. If you need space! Tell me, all right?
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No, it's alright. I couldn't imagine... I mean... [Flustering slightly.] Um. I enjoy speaking to and spending time with you, so I wouldn't...
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What are you still being so shy for?
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I'm not! [He says this way too quickly for it to not be a lie.] I've just never... Your...
I'm trying to tell you that I enjoy spending time with you even if it isn't the way you wanted at first because you're important to me!
[THE WAY HE SAYS THIS SOOOOOOOOOO FAST TO GET IT OUT BEFORE HE IS SWALLOWED BY THE GROUND.]
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You could've just said that from the beginning!
[ and—he feels a little justified with all that's happened in leaning in, pressing his lips at the corner of his mouth. not quite on it. ]
Don't worry! If you'll have me, then I won't ever be far.
no subject
Cannot emphasize how shocking this is to a man who thought no one ever paid any bit of attention to him at all.]
Alright... Thank you...