[He wants to say it's different for him. It is, but... the mood will change. No, he will burden Sidon with an inevitable fate Sidon can't change for him.
So he doesn't say anything about how there is no time to live when you are too worried trying to find a way not to die. To live? When you forget to live trying desperately to live.
There is nothing he can do but look up when the finger encourages him to, and his own fingers, for a moment, stop fiddling with the puzzle pieces. A very slow and weak smile finds his face. Sidon is so kind to him and for what?
He is frail, half Sidon's size, his body is ugly with malady, with fixed broken parts, his life is wasting away at an even more exponential rate than normal.]
I don't mind. I'm sorry if I... If you don't hear me say I love you as much as I should. It... gets... caught in my head. If that makes sense.
[ why are you sending me this sad tag before trial. i hate you. i hate you? who did this to me?
he can't read viktor's doubts, but he can at least look over his face and study the wobble of his smile. he's better at reading people than scrolls of text. ]
You already have so much going on in your mind—shouldn't I be flattered? That loving me is a thought you have time for.
[ he only really needs to know that viktor is thinking about it. unfortunately, he has enough confidence that verbal reassurance is strictly optional—though that's probably not the case for viktor. ]
—Besides, partners are meant to do their fair share. I can tell you I love you enough for the both of us! So—I love you.
[ he puts an arm around viktor's middle to lean back in and gives him a kiss, and it's earnest and without hesitation, even if his skin isn't the right texture or temperature. ]
[the hilarity of coming back to this after trial. WHO DID THIS TO YOU, NU? tell me
He wonders how... Sidon always knows what to say? As someone who finds it a bit difficult sometimes, how does Sidon know what to say to him?]
I know, but-- I should also--
[Why does this kiss surprise him when he's already had one?! It does. He is just surprised someone would bother kissing him. He is surprised someone would even think about him this way when he sees all that's wrong.
And he thinks of someone else. Briefly, fleetingly.
The surprise softens. The pieces of the puzzle tumble out of his hands, and he reaches up with one to touch the side of Sidon's face. He kisses back. IT'S STILL NOT GREAT HE IS JUST A LIL VIRGIN GUY, but it is not quite as bad as the one Diluc got during the party games.]
[ i am over my trial rage. i have reached zen on this sunday. my goal is to get you to write a rejection at me now :)
anyway, it's not like sidon is an expert at kissing either, considering he's never done it before here. besides, he has a sense of decorum as a prince—he has an entire fanbase he doesn't slip into anything amorous with, finding their affections good-natured yet best kept at arm's length.
but being in love is different. it sends a happy little thrill through him when viktor—usually timid—reciprocates. he puts a hand over viktor's own, encouraging it to stay there. ]
I'm pleased with you just as you are, Viktor.
[ a little pause. ]
Maybe I haven't made that clear enough? I did get quite a lot of advice for wooing you—the flowers were just the first of it. Perhaps I should continue?
[i wish you would go back to being less invigorated
The wild domino effect of learning non-humans are attracted to you for some bizarre reason. They can sense his absolute cryptid energy maybe.
After the kiss, he suddenly becomes extremely shy. Lax, but shy. His hand stays, but the fingers curl a little, and his shoulders curl a little, too. The curse is so baffle for him, for someone who has never really experienced the tingling warmth of steady attraction. Sure, girls are cute. Sure... maybe even guys are cute, too. But they never wanted him, not hobbling around, not consumed by his studies.
Science did not love him back, but he could love science in security, quietly.]
You... You don't have to woo me. I'm... um, very thoroughly wooed already... It's not a surprise you're a natural.
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no subject
So he doesn't say anything about how there is no time to live when you are too worried trying to find a way not to die. To live? When you forget to live trying desperately to live.
There is nothing he can do but look up when the finger encourages him to, and his own fingers, for a moment, stop fiddling with the puzzle pieces. A very slow and weak smile finds his face. Sidon is so kind to him and for what?
He is frail, half Sidon's size, his body is ugly with malady, with fixed broken parts, his life is wasting away at an even more exponential rate than normal.]
I don't mind. I'm sorry if I... If you don't hear me say I love you as much as I should. It... gets... caught in my head. If that makes sense.
I rather like... doing nothing with you.
no subject
he can't read viktor's doubts, but he can at least look over his face and study the wobble of his smile. he's better at reading people than scrolls of text. ]
You already have so much going on in your mind—shouldn't I be flattered? That loving me is a thought you have time for.
[ he only really needs to know that viktor is thinking about it. unfortunately, he has enough confidence that verbal reassurance is strictly optional—though that's probably not the case for viktor. ]
—Besides, partners are meant to do their fair share. I can tell you I love you enough for the both of us! So—I love you.
[ he puts an arm around viktor's middle to lean back in and gives him a kiss, and it's earnest and without hesitation, even if his skin isn't the right texture or temperature. ]
no subject
He wonders how... Sidon always knows what to say? As someone who finds it a bit difficult sometimes, how does Sidon know what to say to him?]
I know, but-- I should also--
[Why does this kiss surprise him when he's already had one?! It does. He is just surprised someone would bother kissing him. He is surprised someone would even think about him this way when he sees all that's wrong.
And he thinks of someone else. Briefly, fleetingly.
The surprise softens. The pieces of the puzzle tumble out of his hands, and he reaches up with one to touch the side of Sidon's face. He kisses back. IT'S STILL NOT GREAT HE IS JUST A LIL VIRGIN GUY, but it is not quite as bad as the one Diluc got during the party games.]
no subject
anyway, it's not like sidon is an expert at kissing either, considering he's never done it before here. besides, he has a sense of decorum as a prince—he has an entire fanbase he doesn't slip into anything amorous with, finding their affections good-natured yet best kept at arm's length.
but being in love is different. it sends a happy little thrill through him when viktor—usually timid—reciprocates. he puts a hand over viktor's own, encouraging it to stay there. ]
I'm pleased with you just as you are, Viktor.
[ a little pause. ]
Maybe I haven't made that clear enough? I did get quite a lot of advice for wooing you—the flowers were just the first of it. Perhaps I should continue?
no subject
The wild domino effect of learning non-humans are attracted to you for some bizarre reason. They can sense his absolute cryptid energy maybe.
After the kiss, he suddenly becomes extremely shy. Lax, but shy. His hand stays, but the fingers curl a little, and his shoulders curl a little, too. The curse is so baffle for him, for someone who has never really experienced the tingling warmth of steady attraction. Sure, girls are cute. Sure... maybe even guys are cute, too. But they never wanted him, not hobbling around, not consumed by his studies.
Science did not love him back, but he could love science in security, quietly.]
You... You don't have to woo me. I'm... um, very thoroughly wooed already... It's not a surprise you're a natural.