Unfortunately for Lucien, Viktor digs his heels into the ground and pulls on the hand that has taken his own. There are some words he has had to consider recently, and maybe he is still very afraid of what the future holds for either of them... but it doesn't mean he can't give in to the present while it's here.
The best thing he liked about Lucien was how normal Lucien made him feel in the chaos.
He tugs Lucien's arm to get Lucien to turn back to him again, and he reaches up with the other hand to put it on Lucien's neck like before, careful not to lose the crutch under his arm. He pulls Lucien in toward him and gives him another possessive kiss.]
I love you.
[Because he did not say it in person before... like an idiot. And that needed to be remedied. He smiles a bit sheepishly afterward.]
[ he has not said it outloud yet - though that is partially lucien’s fault for barreling right past it during the seance and not exactly allowing him to.
he’s actually surprised himself when viktor pulls this extremely romance novel move on him, and hearing things outloud is always a little different than reading them - viktor might miss it because he’s too busy kissing but lucien’s face does go the tiniest bit hot at that. that’s the thing for him too, how strangely normal he feels when this is happening. at least, more mortal and fallible and like his old self rather than the divine aspirant with a severe haunting issue. it is probably okay to want to stick around and see what happens with this instead of scattering himself to the astral sea in ten thousand pieces. ]
I love you. [ because his mean streak refuses to be that sincere, adding: ]
Don’t say sorry and “I’m ready” like I’m leading you off to eat you like a hag.
[His chin ducks down slightly, and his expression is kind of a version of hehe in a way. Why is he, like, thirty, but feels sort of like an idiot teenager...?]
Well, I never know. You might be leading me off to wrap me in a cocoon so I can become universal soup.
[Kidding.
He bumps Lucien's gently in the chest with both their hands. He's ready to be lead away and asked a thousand questions about plot...]
[ it's cute. maybe it's nice he gets to get an idiot teenager for a little while because he didn't get to be when he was an actual idiot teenager. and sure, plot is what gen z is calling it these days ...
[A bird is going to swoop down and snatch Lucien's horns off. Viktor follows along after, still refusing to let the hand go, not that Lucien would let him probably.]
I think so, yes. I definitely don't feel the weird tugging and tickling I felt the other day before I got... birthed. Whatever that was.
[ he would deserve that. shooting him a look at birthed, but he also does not let the hand go. ]
Use any other word. [ that's just by far the worst one!!!!!! ] So you were ... placed on this side by surprise? You felt a sensation and then simply showed up?
[Both shoulders hunch ever so slightly for a second under the weight of the look. He smiles nervously, like when you know you said birthed, and your boyfriend hates it with all parts of his being. And yet, you want to say birthed again just for the hell of it.]
Parturition.
[He looks thoughtful for a moment.]
Yes. Later in the evening, it felt like... I was being grabbed? Sometimes. Or like someone was touching me. And then... I don't remember anything except... I was... [He thinks again about Lucien's explanation of the metamorphosis.] I was inside... something.
Um... Flesh. Organic. It was very dark, and it could move. And I couldn't... remember anything it felt like. I kept struggling to remember... anything. People, memories. It tried to keep me, but I could hear voices, and I kept fighting.
and then I woke up in the stasis pod with the senior crew pulling me out.
[See!! IT WAS BIRTH. He was in the womb. Gently, he makes a face.]
I don't really want us to converge at that point, you know.
[Less flesh or not, he doesn't want them to share resurrection as yet another terrible, dark theme in their list of shitty circumstances.]
The senior crew said it... They said they were going to try for the others, but they weren't sure how it would do yet. Amalthea said there was a very high probability of them pulling a rat into my body.
We converge on a great deal of other points, Mr. Viktor, so I don't see what the objection is to that one.
[ he does actually have to let go of his hand by the time they reach the rooms - fiddling with his I.R.I.S. at the room door, and doing a dramatically sweep of the hand to gesture for him to head inside. ]
Don't look very rat-like to me at the moment, but if you were I certainly wouldn't shake you around and threaten you.
[Reluctantly, he will return Lucien's hand and wait for the door. Stop being a clown. The clown. He gives Lucien a LOOK and flicks Lucien's nose as he passes by to head into the room.
Feels a little rude to be thankful for a private room when the person who made it private DIED. But whatever.]
[ his nose does the crinkle thing when he gets flicked,
as for the room ... a silver lining for every murder-cloud? I hate to paint a grim portrait here but it isn't very decorated or filled with personal touches - he barely spends time in here, and if he does it's mostly to store stuff or crash for a few hours. there's a few clothes around, mostly black, a little bit of red, and then the shocking amount of gold and silver jewelry molly had somehow accrued in a six-hour block the past monday is scattered across one of the desks untouched from where someone had ripped it off in a huff. apart from that, there's a pink and green book and a few loose pages of paper. and a single OOOOUUGGHHHH wizard statue. ]
It is such a shame Lucien rebels against the jewelry out of spite because it is quite attractive for a goth to be in jewelry, thank you, clown.
He is too much of a nerd not to immediately survey everything.]
How kind of a benefactor you are, allowing Throné to have some of my time.
[He goes to admire the wizard statue for reasons. But then he also tries to be nosy with the book and the papers while he is there. His turn to snoop.]
[ he is purely against the excessive jewelry because of spite - he wears earrings and obviously his creepy amulet filled with his own blood. is that attractive? is it?
tossing his coat over the back of a chair (it is the same repaired one, for the record) and going to sit on the bed, watching him nosily poke through his STUFF. The book is in an indecipherable language and the notes seem to be mostly trying to figure it out - without much success. also a few more but theyre in Undercommon so it depends how rude Viktor is being if he’s going to whip out his IRIS and translate those. ]
Found that with Rosamund. Something about the CEM waves, I think.
[Damb. He is very curious, but out of the two of them, he has a little bit more manners, so he does not just whip out the IRIS to go to town on the pages.
Carefully, he props the crutch up against the desk. His eyes lift to look into the middle distance thoughtfully, moving back and forth almost like he's reading something unseen. He glances down again, picking up the book up, Lucien's translation notes, and a pencil which he tucks behind an ear in his curls. He joins Lucien on the bed.]
You could try to see if Thebe could decipher it, if they remember. They had been working with Blake Walker on CEM waves.
[lucien, the ultimate nosy busybody, would only respect it if viktor had done that shit. instead he just snorts a bit as he watches him pick up the book and bring it over. he would probably have more success than lucien because he’s a hell a lot smarter - lucien is clever but hes hardly a genius - but the images definitely are similar to the CEM stuff seen around.
coming over to lean his chin on shoulder, looking st the book too. ]
I wasn’t actually planning on interrogating you, for the record.
[ baring his teeth at him when he gets eraser poked. feral ass. but he’s moving in closer, sliding a hand over viktor’s front and raising his eyebrows. ]
Well, I’m slightly less afraid that the act will outright kill you as of today … ?
[The way in which he so suddenly and unexpectedly drops the pencil in his fingers out of surprise despite the fact he literally just teased Lucien about this very thing. His face gets a bit red.
He can feel a tickle rising up in the back of his throat...?]
I, um... [He coughs gently.] This... body isn't... exactly like the other one, you know.
[HE'S SCARED...? Not of breaking, that's whatever. But the body dysphoria is now real again even though Lucien has told him 294928928 times to stop being an idiot.]
[ the way he keeps acting like he knows lucien is into him but also thinks of it as a prank or something
anyway he is an asshole about many, many, many things but this particular issue he is fine to remind him again, fairly patiently. everyone’s got their hangups. he stops for the moment, sitting up a bit and going to pull the book out of viktor’s hands (gently).
playing coy is more fun but maybe some bluntness will … help? ]
[Oh. His face gets a bit more red high on the sharp angles of his cheeks. Goodbye book. He doesn't even try to keep it, too busy looking at Lucien anyway.]
I do now...?
[Like, he had an inkling Lucien was into him in general before, but then some complicated turn of events happened, and then he was definitely not in the busted up, skinny body of a dying man. It was a hard read when the self-esteem is bad.
And, annoyingly, he had been getting better on the other side. Sure, they may have been... memories, or whatever, but he was healthier, putting on weight. He forgot the limp, the ache in the back.]
Sorry... It's okay. I just know, um... I'm not giving you much to work with here...?
[ the condescending little speech about how he thinks viktor is pretty wasn't convincing enough? this is kind of on lucien for not saying it outloud in a more sincere way. to be fair he kind of thought the repeatedly trying to kiss him made the thought clearer, but he sees the confusion now. ]
Oh. Well, I think you're attractive. Not even in an "eye of the beholder" sort of horseshit way people say when they're lying, you just are.
[ sorry he is love-sick enough that it does not matter if viktor needs some soup or not. he has no objectivity on this he just thinks he's hot. he would love him if he were a worm, but fortunately for viktor he's a good-looking guy who has some health issues. ]
Plenty to work with. I'm not trying to build a barn here, I don't need materials. I think it'll feel ... good, aye? Probably slightly better than when we were being partially electrocuted the entire time.
[See, this is exactly the reason he enjoys Lucien's company. He could have the most crippling thoughts in the world, and Lucien can somehow confidently say, like, two sentences, and suddenly he's alright. He's still nervous, but he's... reassured? He just knows Lucien is so bold with dislikes, Lucien would probably say it. And, you know, not be kissing on him all the time.
He tries to keep most of the grin off his face.]
Oh, I know very well it'll feel good.
[Wait. He pauses, and then his chin drops a little as his face gets red again. Maybe he can, like, not talk.]
Um-- You, too. [...] You're very attractive.
[Lucien maybe does not need to be told this at all, but it was more the politeness of mutual exchange. Anyway, he gives up on not being a monsterfucker.]
[ no? he should keep talking? lucien doesn't try and hide his grin at all, starting to shift over to him again. leaning in to kiss him on the jaw, down the side of his neck. ]
Oh, I know very well I am.
[ don't just say that. anyway i feel like, scientifically, on the scale of monster fucking that I don't think a tiefing is that high. it's a guy with horns, most of the parts are the same and he's got a fun tail but you know. in general pretty human-adjacent. like a 3 max on a 1-10 rating. ]
[you trying to make a good case and me just handing him monster fucker
Great, enlarging Lucien's big head!! He slips an arm around Lucien's shoulders, tipping his head over to make room with a quiet hum. Slowly, he lies back, taking Lucien with him. Don't crush the air out of him, he'll deflate like a whoopee cushion.]
...Be careful, okay?
[He doesn't have to tell Lucien. Just broaching the subject. Can't help but to be nervous your stupid ass broken body might fail embarrassingly on you in the middle of good sex.]
The, um... [An almost ashamed pause.] The screws... are a little broken, so... they've been a bit irritated. I'll tell you if anything hurts.
[Also, Lucien will find, because of this, Viktor is not wearing the chest brace he's usually in. all that's left is the mild indentions of where the leather and bolts rested against his skin. The upside? Lucien can find all of the cute moles on his body that match the ones on his face.]
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Unfortunately for Lucien, Viktor digs his heels into the ground and pulls on the hand that has taken his own. There are some words he has had to consider recently, and maybe he is still very afraid of what the future holds for either of them... but it doesn't mean he can't give in to the present while it's here.
The best thing he liked about Lucien was how normal Lucien made him feel in the chaos.
He tugs Lucien's arm to get Lucien to turn back to him again, and he reaches up with the other hand to put it on Lucien's neck like before, careful not to lose the crutch under his arm. He pulls Lucien in toward him and gives him another possessive kiss.]
I love you.
[Because he did not say it in person before... like an idiot. And that needed to be remedied. He smiles a bit sheepishly afterward.]
Sorry... I'm ready.
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he’s actually surprised himself when viktor pulls this extremely romance novel move on him, and hearing things outloud is always a little different than reading them - viktor might miss it because he’s too busy kissing but lucien’s face does go the tiniest bit hot at that. that’s the thing for him too, how strangely normal he feels when this is happening. at least, more mortal and fallible and like his old self rather than the divine aspirant with a severe haunting issue. it is probably okay to want to stick around and see what happens with this instead of scattering himself to the astral sea in ten thousand pieces. ]
I love you. [ because his mean streak refuses to be that sincere, adding: ]
Don’t say sorry and “I’m ready” like I’m leading you off to eat you like a hag.
[ the firing squad ……… ]
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Well, I never know. You might be leading me off to wrap me in a cocoon so I can become universal soup.
[Kidding.
He bumps Lucien's gently in the chest with both their hands. He's ready to be lead away and asked a thousand questions about plot...]
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snorting, going back to leading him then. ]
Feeling more solidly on this side?
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I think so, yes. I definitely don't feel the weird tugging and tickling I felt the other day before I got... birthed. Whatever that was.
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Use any other word. [ that's just by far the worst one!!!!!! ] So you were ... placed on this side by surprise? You felt a sensation and then simply showed up?
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Parturition.
[He looks thoughtful for a moment.]
Yes. Later in the evening, it felt like... I was being grabbed? Sometimes. Or like someone was touching me. And then... I don't remember anything except... I was... [He thinks again about Lucien's explanation of the metamorphosis.] I was inside... something.
Um... Flesh. Organic. It was very dark, and it could move. And I couldn't... remember anything it felt like. I kept struggling to remember... anything. People, memories. It tried to keep me, but I could hear voices, and I kept fighting.
and then I woke up in the stasis pod with the senior crew pulling me out.
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Not dissimilar to how my resurrection felt.
[ less flesh, though. ]
So at least we're even now on that front.
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I don't really want us to converge at that point, you know.
[Less flesh or not, he doesn't want them to share resurrection as yet another terrible, dark theme in their list of shitty circumstances.]
The senior crew said it... They said they were going to try for the others, but they weren't sure how it would do yet. Amalthea said there was a very high probability of them pulling a rat into my body.
Which I hate.
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[ he does actually have to let go of his hand by the time they reach the rooms - fiddling with his I.R.I.S. at the room door, and doing a dramatically sweep of the hand to gesture for him to head inside. ]
Don't look very rat-like to me at the moment, but if you were I certainly wouldn't shake you around and threaten you.
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[Reluctantly, he will return Lucien's hand and wait for the door. Stop being a clown. The clown. He gives Lucien a LOOK and flicks Lucien's nose as he passes by to head into the room.
Feels a little rude to be thankful for a private room when the person who made it private DIED. But whatever.]
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as for the room ... a silver lining for every murder-cloud? I hate to paint a grim portrait here but it isn't very decorated or filled with personal touches - he barely spends time in here, and if he does it's mostly to store stuff or crash for a few hours. there's a few clothes around, mostly black, a little bit of red, and then the shocking amount of gold and silver jewelry molly had somehow accrued in a six-hour block the past monday is scattered across one of the desks untouched from where someone had ripped it off in a huff. apart from that, there's a pink and green book and a few loose pages of paper. and a single OOOOUUGGHHHH wizard statue. ]
I'll return you to Throné at some point, but ...
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It is such a shame Lucien rebels against the jewelry out of spite because it is quite attractive for a goth to be in jewelry, thank you, clown.
He is too much of a nerd not to immediately survey everything.]
How kind of a benefactor you are, allowing Throné to have some of my time.
[He goes to admire the wizard statue for reasons. But then he also tries to be nosy with the book and the papers while he is there. His turn to snoop.]
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tossing his coat over the back of a chair (it is the same repaired one, for the record) and going to sit on the bed, watching him nosily poke through his STUFF. The book is in an indecipherable language and the notes seem to be mostly trying to figure it out - without much success. also a few more but theyre in Undercommon so it depends how rude Viktor is being if he’s going to whip out his IRIS and translate those. ]
Found that with Rosamund. Something about the CEM waves, I think.
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Carefully, he props the crutch up against the desk. His eyes lift to look into the middle distance thoughtfully, moving back and forth almost like he's reading something unseen. He glances down again, picking up the book up, Lucien's translation notes, and a pencil which he tucks behind an ear in his curls. He joins Lucien on the bed.]
You could try to see if Thebe could decipher it, if they remember. They had been working with Blake Walker on CEM waves.
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coming over to lean his chin on shoulder, looking st the book too. ]
I wasn’t actually planning on interrogating you, for the record.
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The papers get tucked neatly into the book to be held, and he reaches up to pluck the pencil from behind his ear.]
Oh? So there must be another reason you brought me back to your room...?
[Pushes the eraser-end into Lucien's cheek a few times teasingly.]
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[ baring his teeth at him when he gets eraser poked. feral ass. but he’s moving in closer, sliding a hand over viktor’s front and raising his eyebrows. ]
Well, I’m slightly less afraid that the act will outright kill you as of today … ?
[ the her-mes had such high expectations!!!! ]
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He can feel a tickle rising up in the back of his throat...?]
I, um... [He coughs gently.] This... body isn't... exactly like the other one, you know.
[HE'S SCARED...? Not of breaking, that's whatever. But the body dysphoria is now real again even though Lucien has told him 294928928 times to stop being an idiot.]
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[ the way he keeps acting like he knows lucien is into him but also thinks of it as a prank or something
anyway he is an asshole about many, many, many things but this particular issue he is fine to remind him again, fairly patiently. everyone’s got their hangups. he stops for the moment, sitting up a bit and going to pull the book out of viktor’s hands (gently).
playing coy is more fun but maybe some bluntness will … help? ]
You know I am attracted to you, yes?
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I do now...?
[Like, he had an inkling Lucien was into him in general before, but then some complicated turn of events happened, and then he was definitely not in the busted up, skinny body of a dying man. It was a hard read when the self-esteem is bad.
And, annoyingly, he had been getting better on the other side. Sure, they may have been... memories, or whatever, but he was healthier, putting on weight. He forgot the limp, the ache in the back.]
Sorry... It's okay. I just know, um... I'm not giving you much to work with here...?
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Oh. Well, I think you're attractive. Not even in an "eye of the beholder" sort of horseshit way people say when they're lying, you just are.
[ sorry he is love-sick enough that it does not matter if viktor needs some soup or not. he has no objectivity on this he just thinks he's hot. he would love him if he were a worm, but fortunately for viktor he's a good-looking guy who has some health issues. ]
Plenty to work with. I'm not trying to build a barn here, I don't need materials. I think it'll feel ... good, aye? Probably slightly better than when we were being partially electrocuted the entire time.
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He tries to keep most of the grin off his face.]
Oh, I know very well it'll feel good.
[Wait. He pauses, and then his chin drops a little as his face gets red again. Maybe he can, like, not talk.]
Um-- You, too. [...] You're very attractive.
[Lucien maybe does not need to be told this at all, but it was more the politeness of mutual exchange. Anyway, he gives up on not being a monsterfucker.]
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Oh, I know very well I am.
[ don't just say that. anyway i feel like, scientifically, on the scale of monster fucking that I don't think a tiefing is that high. it's a guy with horns, most of the parts are the same and he's got a fun tail but you know. in general pretty human-adjacent. like a 3 max on a 1-10 rating. ]
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Great, enlarging Lucien's big head!! He slips an arm around Lucien's shoulders, tipping his head over to make room with a quiet hum. Slowly, he lies back, taking Lucien with him. Don't crush the air out of him, he'll deflate like a whoopee cushion.]
...Be careful, okay?
[He doesn't have to tell Lucien. Just broaching the subject. Can't help but to be nervous your stupid ass broken body might fail embarrassingly on you in the middle of good sex.]
The, um... [An almost ashamed pause.] The screws... are a little broken, so... they've been a bit irritated. I'll tell you if anything hurts.
[Also, Lucien will find, because of this, Viktor is not wearing the chest brace he's usually in. all that's left is the mild indentions of where the leather and bolts rested against his skin. The upside? Lucien can find all of the cute moles on his body that match the ones on his face.]
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