[Throné is being kind, and he isn't sure what to do with it, as someone who has rarely had someone be kind to him... outside of, like... the Dean. Jayce. What does he do with kindness?
Why does the kindness... make it harder to think he knows he won't get to live?
She can probably feel how hard he swallows, even if he doesn't make any noise. He reaches up to very lightly put a little of his fingers on top of her hand. Almost like he is scared to touch her at all.]
...
Have you ever... done something truly horrible? Have you ever... hurt someone accidentally and knew... they didn't deserve it?
[man. it sucks that they have this in common - not knowing what to do with kindness.
when he touches her fingers, she doesn't move. stays, just watching him with a soft look. and when he asks, she laughs a little. it's not mean, or at least, she doesn't mean for it to be. it is a little wry.]
Yes. More than once. [she's confident in that. but she waits - lets him lead.]
... Hm. [to her credit maybe, she gives that a lot of thought.]
You do it anyway. [she says, finally.] You only have one life. You can live it however you want, but you don't get a second try. So you don't give up on it.
And then maybe eventually you'll think that you do deserve it.
[This surprises him enough it makes him look over at her again. He's not sure how to respond!! To something this profound and also, annoyingly, correct and relatable.
Will he ever think he deserves it before the guilt eats him alive?]
You're right... I'll keep going for however long I can.
[He is not sure how much she will like a touch from a dude she barely knows, so he pats the top of her hand with his fingers in acknowledgment.]
[she says, softer, and - doesn't seem to mind the touch! that's fine, apparently, if it's him? roomie privs. anyway, she watches him for a second, and then, lightly, like she's trying to improve his mood a bit:]
And remember to keep your promise, or all of that will be a moot point. [jokingly threatens murder]
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Why does the kindness... make it harder to think he knows he won't get to live?
She can probably feel how hard he swallows, even if he doesn't make any noise. He reaches up to very lightly put a little of his fingers on top of her hand. Almost like he is scared to touch her at all.]
...
Have you ever... done something truly horrible? Have you ever... hurt someone accidentally and knew... they didn't deserve it?
no subject
when he touches her fingers, she doesn't move. stays, just watching him with a soft look. and when he asks, she laughs a little. it's not mean, or at least, she doesn't mean for it to be. it is a little wry.]
Yes. More than once. [she's confident in that. but she waits - lets him lead.]
no subject
The laugh sounds like laughs he has given himself. When you struggle to get the joy back into your voice.]
What do you do...
[He pauses, hesitates. His hand doesn't drop completely, but it slouches a bit, and he looks away into the room.]
What do you do when you want to live, but you don't think you deserve to?
no subject
... Hm. [to her credit maybe, she gives that a lot of thought.]
You do it anyway. [she says, finally.] You only have one life. You can live it however you want, but you don't get a second try. So you don't give up on it.
And then maybe eventually you'll think that you do deserve it.
no subject
Will he ever think he deserves it before the guilt eats him alive?]
You're right... I'll keep going for however long I can.
[He is not sure how much she will like a touch from a dude she barely knows, so he pats the top of her hand with his fingers in acknowledgment.]
Thank you, Throné.
no subject
[she says, softer, and - doesn't seem to mind the touch! that's fine, apparently, if it's him? roomie privs. anyway, she watches him for a second, and then, lightly, like she's trying to improve his mood a bit:]
And remember to keep your promise, or all of that will be a moot point. [jokingly threatens murder]